


Yes Sir

by d_l_star



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Badass Female, Blood, Bondage, Caning, Dom/sub, F/M, Fucked Up, Graphic Description, Master/Slave, Multiple Sex Positions, Non-Consensual, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Oral Sex, Pain, Physical Abuse, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Smut, Threats of Rape/Non-Con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-24 19:02:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d_l_star/pseuds/d_l_star
Summary: This is the story of how I met Negan. and what he did to me. This is where my darkness met its match.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is about Negans darker side, and a reader who can take it. There is going to be abuse, non-con elements, dom/sub and the breaking of the reader fully. This won't be a nice. There may be triggers for some so I warn you. This is where Negan gets out his darker side.
> 
> Please share any comments or feedback.

Seeing the four trucks on the road coming over the hill was a last thing I wanted to see. 

_Fucking shit. It’s never easy anymore._

Never just an offer for a ride, or directions.  Everyone wanted something, and it always cost dearly.  The dirt bike could get me past them, but if they slowed (like they were right now) I knew the trees where too thick to take the bike. 

 _Ditch the bike or take a stand. Ditch the bike…. Take a stand….Shit_  They were too close now, and clearly had a sniper handing out on of the trucks front window. 

Parking my bike sideways to at least give me some cover, I stood in the middle of the road. _Time to pull of some John Wayne shit._ I pulled my bow off my back and prepared.  20 arrows wasn’t going to go far.  Despite the effect to my accuracy and range I left my helmet on.  The anonymity would help in a situation like this.  At 100 ft I shot the leading truck.  Hitting it square in the hood, the arrow stuck.  The truck came to a stop at 80 ft. _Good Range_

Watching the trucks stop, I watched as they scrambled for only a minute. Clearly ready for anything. Two guys with rifles come around the side of the truck, and I knew there would be more. These were just the ones they wanted me to see.

 _Of course they all have to be men too. I should have ran for it._  Both the driver and passenger side doors open.   First a man with a nasty horseshoe mustache, then a taller man in a black leather jacket.  They walked closer another 30 ft and then stopped.  Just staring at my crazy ass and my bike in the middle of the road. 

“Well, Well, Well. What do we have here?”  The jacketed one says loudly, full of gusto.  Noticing his companions hand on his holster, I took aim at him.  They both stopped. 

“Let me pass,” I yelled in my deepest voice.   

“Not gonna happen.” Jacket replied.  “You took the first shot remember.”  He swung a baseball bat at his side.  It has some barbed wire wrapped around it, and it looked deadly. 

“Let me pass,” I shouted again. 

Leather is about to say something when a red dot showed up on my chest.  _Are you fucking kidding me?_ Seeing the source in the right side of the woods, without a second hesitation I took the shot. The gunmans body rolled down the embankment, the arrow sticking out of his chest. 

“Let me pass,” I yelled, now point to the left, I watched with a smirk as the man who was trying to flank me came out of the woods and backed up a good 20 ft. 

“Now you’re definitely not going to pass you shit nosed like ass fuck.” Leather clearly didn’t like the killing his men.  Just as I was about to take another down an additional 10 guns come from behind the truck. Flanking leather.  There is no way I was getting out of this. 

“Now your going to have to pay for killing one of my men. So, I am going to take your bike, your bag, and if you stop this shit right now maybe you will get to walk about with your life.”

“Not gonna happen,” I mimicked his voice. This time aiming right at him.  I pull back again, harder farther then the first and release, the arrow flying right past his ear, and into the man behind him, the force knocks him down dead.  “Next one goes right into your chest.”

“Well what the fuck have we found here.  You got some balls, I will tell you that.  But even if you kill me, my men will mow you down, there won’t be enough of you left even for walker bait by the time they will be done.” 

_Shit shit shit…. How the fuck am I gonna get out of this._

“Let me pass.”

“Are you fucking hard of hearing, that’s not going to happen. Now put the bow down and accept your dues like a fucking man.”

“I have a better idea.”

Leather stopped, “Like what?”

“Your best guy against me.  Gladiator style. Just knives.  I kill him I go free, he kills me then you got your blood.” 

Leather laughs loud and hardily. A few of his men doing the same.  “Let’s totally do this,” he said smiling, picking his radio off a his belt and a minute later a huge guy, maybe 6 ft 8 comes from behind the truck.

 _What the fuck is this. Are we in some WWE shit?_ I watched as Leathers men stood down, doing the same I set my bow down, pulling out my bowie knife instead. 

Giant comes out, looking at my small frame and laughs. He actually laughs thinking he has this no problem. He has at least a foot and a half on me, and easily 100 maybe 150 lbs.  But with his size and strength I know I am fast. I have to end this quickly. 

A moment later he is taking a swing at me, its wide and sweeps just past me with the knife. I take a step back leaning back missing him completely.  His second swing is closer, so I dive right under his arm, slicing him with my blade as I regain my balance on the other side.  Its not too deep but it bleds nicely. I pissed him off for sure, because he isn’t laughing anymore.

His next move is to swing again, but its followed with an upper cut.  I cut his arm badly but took the uppercut straight to the stomach.  It knocks the wind out of me, and I am down on one knee for a good 30 seconds. I know what’s coming next. I see him lining up.  I unbuckle my helmet taking it off and when Giant goes to kick me in the face, I block it with the helmet. Using it as a shield. The cracking sound of his shin and the helmet is loud, and he is clearly injured.  Ducking around his massive body on my knees I slice his Achilles quickly and with skill.  He goes down, the fight is over. Before anyone realizes it I have already slit his throat. He drops the knife and Giant bleds out on the ground chocking on his own blood. _Not my first rodeo ass hole._  

“Can I fucking go now?”  I say clearly, coming face to face with Leather.

“Hooo….llllyyyyy….shit…. did you see that?” The grin that spreads across Leathers face lets me know that I should have made a run for it.  Leather continues, “I have never seen anything like that, and from a woman? Fuck, I am hard as steel right now. What is your name gorgeous?” 

“You said I could go.”  _Shit shit…….I am not doing this again, I will kill myself before I let them take me._

“You just killed three of my men, turn out to be a chick, and I am suppose to just let you out of my life?”

I lift my chin, moving an inch closer to him, “You said I could go.”

“Doll, with skills like that, and a face like yours, you ain’t going anywhere,” he pulled me closer, as if he was going to kiss me, but then stopped. My knife was at his crotch. 

“I go, or you become a woman.”  I tilted your head to the side just a little for effect. 

“You have some giant lady balls don’t you,” Leather smiled.  “At least let a guy take you out to dinner,” he smiled.  _Fuck_ was my last thought as the world went dark.


	2. Let the games begin

Waking up in the dark sent panic through me.  _What the fuck? Where the fuck am I?_ Standing up I felt around the room. It was maybe 3 ft by 6ft.  It was a windowless cell.  Panic continued to set in.   I started to go through all of my hiding places.  My boots where gone, my ankle holster was gone, my belt and all of its emergency items gone. My vest and even my socks where gone. But my bra was still here.  Slowly I took small one-and-a-half-inch blade out from between your breasts. _Thank god for large breasts_.  Finding the door, I felt the edges. Figuring out which way it opened, and then I set myself. Who ever opened the door was going to be in for a surprise. 

Hours later I heard the door being unlocked, I had a plan, tackle whoever opened the door, stab stab and then run.   Even if I could just a look at where I was, then I could get a better idea of what was going on. 

The door opened, and I launched.  A scream sounded from the brunette women beneath me.  I froze for a moment. A moment too long. A blonde man came out of nowhere tackling me to the ground hard. I got an elbow from him as I tried to roll but stopped when his knife pressed to my throat.  “Drop it. She was coming to help, so drop it or I kill you now.”  I felt the knife press and nick my skin.  I dropped the small blade, and he got off you, but keeping the brunette behind him. 

“Let me go.”

“I can’t do that,” the blond said. The scar down the left side of his face clearly from burns. 

“Did He do that to you?”  I asked, nodding to the blonds scars as I returned my blade to its hiding spot. 

“Yes, and Negan will do worse to you if you kill one of his wives.  I get why your first instinct is to kill, but some of us are just stuck here.   Try to remember that.”  Blondey put away his knife.

_Negan, perfect name for an ass hole._ “What do you want?”

“I came with a bit of food for you.  Negan’s not back till tonight, and honestly I don’t know if he will feed you or not.”  She held a bottle of water and about half a loaf of bread.  “But I can’t give it to you unless you’re in there,” she pointed back in the cell. 

“Why?” I was starving and if was calculating if I could grab it and run. 

“He’ld hurt me if he knew I’ld helped you.” Her voice was soft and kind. I knew these kindof men.  _Shit shit shit… not again…. Not fucking again._

“I’ll do it under two conditions. 1) I need a light and  2) You make sure the next person to open the door I can kill. Otherwise I swear I will run down this hall so fast and it will be clear someone helped me.”

“Ok,” blondey said, grabbing the water and giving it to you. Once I was back in the cell he handed me a small flash light and then the bread.  “I hope you kill them, because if you don’t he will hurt you.”

The door shut, and I heard it lock.  _Been hurt before, not the first nor the last time._

Hours later the lights came on.  At first I was glad, but then about 15 mins later they went off.  _Fucking psychological shit.  Really next you are going to play crying babies._ As if on cue, when ever it was dark a soundtrack of a crying baby was piped in.  I smiled, if this was the worse Negan had I was gold. I could sleep through anything since this happened.  This was nothing compared to what you had been through …before.

After few more hours the door was being unlocked. I got ready, this time when it opened I looked twice and it was horseshoe. My arm was in the air about to stab down, when I felt someone grab my wrist bent my arm behind my back.  “Drop it, or I will motherfucking break it,” Negan said behind me. I didn’t drop it, not until he twisted my arm so tight I heard the first pop.  I dropped my knife with a small cry of pain.  Horseshoe got up and they pinned me to the wall as they cuffed my hands behind my back.  “Two against one is it?” I laughed as Horseshoe tried to dig his shoulder into your back as he cuffed you.

Negan said nothing else as he led the way to a board room of some sort.  I was set in the chair at the far end, and he left.  Horseshoe had turned his back to me. _Moron._ I slowly moved and wiggled getting my hands under me, then my legs and eventually infront.  Sneaking up him was easy without shoes on.  And he went down fast with the stranglehold and the hold of the cuffs. I checked his pockets, _Shit, no keys_  and noticed his holster was empty too.  _Fuck I gotta go before Negan gets back._  I opened the door ready to run and ran into a wall of pure muscle.  Bouncing off him I almost fell on my ass.   

“Wow this one is a hellcat,” Negan laughed to the three men in the hall.  He underestimated me, and I came at him with a knee right to the solar plexus. I swung with my arms, hitting him in the face with an uppercut of sorts. He went down on a knee blinded by the pain.  I turned to dash away when he grabbed my leg and yanked, I went down hard. Cave man style he stood up and started to drag me down the hall.

“Get my back room ready,” Negan said to one of the men, as he dragged me by one leg. I kicked, screamed, grabbed at each door.  But he was stronger, and his nails were sunk deep into my skin.  “If you’re not going to act like a lady, I am not going to treat you like one.”  When I got to this back room I almost began to sob. _What the fuck have I done._ Hanging for the ceiling was a hook and the walls clearly had spots to chain someone to.  There was a bed in the corner and a bucket in the other.    When Negan pulled me to my feet I fought hard. Kicking, headbutting, trying to swing my arms, but without a weapon I was just a tiny woman compared to him.  He grabbed the cuffs around my wrists, pulling my arms up, he hooked me to the chain from the ceiling.   A small winch on the other side, he cranked it up so I was standing on tiptoes only.

I let out a ferocious snarl.  I couldn’t get enough balance to kick, and I knew I was pretty much a fish out of water.

“I will be back in a bit.  Then we can either talk, or we can do something else fun.”  He said smiling showing all of his teeth. “Because you have made me hard as fucking hell, and I fully intend to get something for all the shit you have caused.” As he shut the door I could hear him yell. “Make sure Simon is fucking ok.”  Then footsteps go down the hall. 

_He fucking played me, knew I would go for horseshoe Simon.  Fuck.  …. Fuck Fuck Fuck.  Time to come up with a new plan._


	3. Breaking in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just like a game of chess its all about moves and counter moves. This move doesn't go so well for me. But its not the battle but the war that really matters.

It had been maybe an hour when I realized how fucked I was. Being on this hook meant I was helpless. At least being locked in the room meant I could attack and defend. But being on this hook meant I couldn't kick without spinning myself around.  I took a deep breath. Now that the panic had settled, I could think clearly.

The cot was about 3 feet to my left.  If I could get that over there I could use it to get myself unhooked. This was going to hurt bad. I started to slide my body right, swinging slightly to the left. The pain in my wrist was extreme, they cut just taking weight for a few seconds. I clenched my fists. _I am alive, and I am going to stay that way. I can do this._

Going as far right as I could I lifted my feet and swing left. I needed more, I pumped my legs a little and my foot landed on the bed but slid off. 

"Fucking shit," I hollered as I repeated the process. This time both feet landing, and I  was able to hook my feet on the top and bottom pulling the under me.

The relief in standing and taking the pressure off my wrists was immediate. And the pain that flooded my system was just as immediate and strong. Making me almost pass out.  _Hold it together._  Standing on my toes I was able to unhook myself.  I collapsed. I ripped a strip from the tattered sheet on the bed, and wrapped both my bleeding wrists. _Last thing I need is to die of blood loss._

I sat. I didn't care for how long.  _I hurt._ My shoulders from being hung, my ass and hips from being dragged, and I'm so tired. The room was so bare. I flipped over the cot looking for a pin, looked at the bucket, looked at the chains. Nothing was small enough to use as a pick. And besides I wasn't sure if I could with my hands cuffed. I refocused. Could I make a weapon? Everything was built sturdy, any strength was waning.

Finally after inspecting every inch of the cell, my hunger got the best of me. I moved the cot to the far wall, giving me at least a few seconds of notice if the door opened and I feel asleep.

I woke up when a rough hand grabbed my throat. Pushing me against the wall kicking the cot away. I clawed at the hand before my eyes where even open. There was no chance to scream no air to scream. I kicked, scratched, and then felt my body explode in pain as the dark began to rise. My eyes finally focused as the hand lifted me to my feet but slammed my body against the concrete wall. Negan? He was furious and it was feeding his strength.

"Who let you down?"

When I didn't answer, he slammed my body against the wall again. Sparks flew behind my eyes. There where no thoughts, there was nothing but pain and the darkness. It was a hard slap across my face that brought be back to the world. It woke up my senses, reminding me I wasn't dead yet, and to fight to stay that way.

When he went to slap me again I raised my hands to block it, he grabbed the cuffs smashing them against the wall. My shoulders cried out in pain. It was then he saw the bed sheets around my wrists.

"Who let you down?" He said more calmly. He let me go and I crumpled to the ground.

"I got myself down," was all I could say. My breathe coming in short bursts.

"Real....lllyyyyy." Negan said looking around the room. Seeing my wrists and the moved cot his tone changed. "Well color me impressed." He said sitting down on the side of the cot. Just watching me, making me feel really uncomfortable. We sat their for a few minutes just eying each other. I kept looking at the knife on his belt.

"Your planning how to escape right now aren't you, you little shit?' he winked, shifting his body. He clearly was felling uncomfortable now, he stood and went to the door, opening it handing over his belt, knife, and even his jacket to someone unseen. Then closed the door again. He wasn't going to give me any chance to escape.

"I just want to leave," I said using the wall to stand up.

"Well sweet pea that's not going to happen. You killed a crap load of my men, put others in the infirmary, and you just wanna leave? Not going to fucking happen. I don't like killing women you see. Doesn't mean I won't, but I really don't like to. If you were a man I would have already bashed your brains in, but you got spirit, and frankly I like breaking in a filly." He was standing above me looking down at me.

_I swear I will bite off your dick I'd you put that in my face_

Taking my arm suddenly he held my arms as he undid my cuffs. "Those look nasty," he said touching my wounds. He reached into his pocket pulling out an oversized bandage, wrapping both my wrists carefully. I looked up at him, wondering if he had gone soft. As if to answer my question after wrapping my wrists he stood me up straight, placing a big thick leather cuff on my wrists. The lock on the back was like something from a movie. It required pressure and a key, there was no way I was getting out of them.  I screamed as he grabbed my throat again, pushing me against the other wall. Locking my left and then my right hand to chains again. Both my arms were locked, this time my are my hips height bit I wasn't able to move more then half a foot.

Negan just looked me over for a few moments. His hands started at my wrists, he slide his hands up my arm, across my shoulders and then down the sides of my body. If it had been a lover it would have been an intimate touch. Instead he was just feeling the goods. After sliding down my hips his hands came to my breasts. He cupped them for a second, then stopped, as if finding something wrong.

He grabbed my shirt and ripped. A small squeal coming from my mouth as the cold concert touched my back. Negan looked at me disapproving as he saw my binding bra. I am a large c cup and they get in the way so this bra helps make me look more like an A. It's painful sometimes, but helps me pass as a male sometimes too.

Negan undoes each snap and Velcro, and when the binding falls away he looks at my breasts hungrily. He cups them, feeling their weight. He pinchs my nipple.

"Stop that," I say in a hushed voice. I am so embarrassed, so mortified to be strapped to a wall my breasts hanging out. As if sensing my feelings he starts to undo the top button of my paints. I try to move, to buck my hips. I yell, no, stop onto his face more then once. He doesn't even aren't to hear me.  He removes my pants with ease, and then eyes my underwear.

He doesn't remove my underwear. I feel relief for a moment at some dignity. But then he whispers into my ear, "I am going to have such fun with you." He hands grasp my breasts, hard. He needs them and I scream out. I scream for him to stop, for him to get off me, that I am going to fucking kill him.

_He is going to rape me_

The thought runs through me as I feel Negan head bows down and take my nipple in his mouth. He bites me first. Causing me to scream again, and then he licks it, sucks the over sensitive nipple into his mouth.  I buck and yell and try to kick. But I'm too tight to the wall, and he is too big. After what seems like forever he looks up at me.

"Eventually you will bag for me to touch you," he says standing taller, but now his hand is going down my torso, _oh god oh god no no...._

His hand slides into my underwear as he cups my mound. Then he slides a finger over my clit and dives right into me. I scream loud and buck at the violation.  When he sticks a second inside me I start to curse at him, telling him how I am going to kill him.

 The third finger slips in roughly and a horse cry out as his thumb touches my clit.  He runs gentle and then rough and then removes his hand.

"I am going to fucking kill you, your men, and everyone here." I spit into his face.

He grabs my face, with the hand that was just inside me. "No your not. Your gonna be right here, pet. And when I have broken you in, you'll be my little toy. " The slap causes me to lose my breath. It hurts so much. The second that follows is harder. Both my breasts now sting red and the yells that keep coming out of my start to deafen me. The next slap is more, it. Sets my body on fire as he slaps down on my breast again.

"You have the most beautiful tits. Too bad you've been hiding them away."  He pinchs my nipples hard. I scream at him again. _He will pay for this, I am going to ripe his throat out. I am going to find those he cares about and slice them to pieces._ The look on my face causes him of stop, has he grabs my face roughly.

"You can plot to tear my world apart, but sweet heart I promise you, that its going to get much much worse. You see in here, there's no one to stop me here, no one to tell me I be gone through far. And I will do with you as I like."  He punched me in the stomach, the air knocked out of me.  I couldn't move, couldn't yell or scream. I couldn't breathe. He grabbed my one leg moving it to the wall and locked it in place, repeating the process before I got my senses back.  Then he just looked at me. I said nothing, I stared definitely at him.  He smiled as he abruptly got up and left the room. It went dark.

I stopped there, chained to the cold wall, in the dark. My body aches, my breasts, my shoulders, my insides from his rough fingering. I was not giving in, to be his play thing. I was not going to be his toy. I will wait, bide my time. And then I will rip his throat out with my teeth if I have to. _He will die._

I must have finally fallen asleep because this time I woke to the sound of the door opening, and the blinding light. I heard the bucket being moved before I could see.

An old woman stood before me. She slowly pet my hair back, and smiled sadly at me.

"Please let me go." I almost cried.

She spoke so quietly not almost hurt to listen. "I can't my dear. I am sorry my dear. I am Edna, my job is to care for you." She cut my underwear off, and placed the bucket underneath me.  She adjusted something as arms were able to move from the wall about 2 ft. "Please empty your system. It will only be worse for you if you don't."

"Can you help me, I need to get out." I said the panic setting in.

"No dear, I have no keys. I simply care for you. I am expendable. So if you kill me he will get another. But at least in keeping Negan's secrets I earn my keep."  As she spoke I realized this was all part of his game. Someone for me to care about. Someone for him to use against me.

I did my business, Edna then took a cloth and cleaned me. She then cleaned my whole body. It made me shiver, but I tried not to let her see.

"Do you have any water nor food please?"

"No he will feed you," she just continued to wash me.  She finished quickly, my chains re-tighting to the wall. She left , coming back in with two items behind her back. She lifted my chin putting drops into my eyes.  I thought nothing of it, until I noticed the world go dark. 

Panic shocked through me. _This old bitch just blinded me._   I tried to pull away from the wall, I screamed.  I screamed long and hard, and I could feel her just standing in front of me. 

"We all have our roll to play. You tame the beast by giving him a toy. Your roll is to be devoured, so others might live,"  I opened my mouth to scream again, as a ball was shoved into my mouth. I screamed around it. I heard her fasten it, and knew right away what is it was. The ball gag meant I couldn't speak, made it hard it breathe, and reminded me how fucked I really was.

When the door opened again I had lost all sense of time. I could tell it was Negan  had come in, Edna must have left.

"A good job as always." He signed. When his finger first touched me I flinched. They seemed even colder then before. And he rubbed my mound again, "Look at that," I could hear the smirk. The gentle touch across my breast was followed by him grabbed them both. He kneaded them, squeezed them, and then buried his face between them. He then moved to the nipple and began to suck on it. Gentle, hard, nip, gentle hard nip.

I couldn't say anything but allow it to happen. The sensations more intense because I couldn't see anything. I felt my hand being released from the wall, and instantly went to the body invading my space. I felt skin and muscle, and fear even through me. 

I took a deep breathe, "Stop," I was clear and forceful. When I felt one leg go free I kicked. I pushed off the wall. Only to hear a chuckle, I tried to pull my hand or other leg loose but nothing  Suddenly I felt my whole body released. I placed my ass on the wall. Being prepared to fight. 

I held my breath listening, a small chuckle, and I jabbed in the air.  I missed completely, and the chuckle that replace it let me know he was playing with me.  Anticipating I front kicked hard, hitting square on to muscle. I heard a crash, as I must have pushed him against the cot.  Stepping forward slowly I heard him move, but not being able to see there is was at my back.  His body pressing hard against mine.   He grabbed both my arms, and before I could say a word I was on the cot with my hands strapped above my head.

I screamed, I kicked, I fought. The whole cot shook, but nothing more then a chuckle _.  He is going to rape me. I am going to taken and there is nothing I can do about it._ Soon my one leg and then my other was strapped down, and there was nothing I could do.  

"Shhhh pet," Negan finally spoke.  "Have you ever seen a wild horse tamed?  They buck and scream and kick. Soon the fire goes out of them, after you have broken them.  And then after you geld a stallion, it becomes the most amazing workhorse."

I bucked and screamed against the gag.  Fear motivated me now. 

"I have a deal for you," I heard a chair up beside the cot.  I stilled, listening.

"I am going to ask you some questions, and you are going to answer all of them. If I think you are being truthful, then no punishment.  If you refuse to answer, or if I think you are lying I will cane you until you bleed. Do you agree to my terms?" 

I was quiet. And then nodded.  I felt the ball gag loosen and be removed.

"Before everything when to shit, what did you do?"

"That doesn't matter."  I said quietly.  My past was my own. No one was going to take those memories.  As I thought this pain exploded through my inner thigh.  The cane was long, and had spring, and hurt like a bitch.  I grit my teeth.  Trying not to let him see.

"Have you ever been with a man before?"

"Yes," I answered. I decided I would give him some information but not allow him to break me

"How many?"

"One." The slap on the other thigh was intense.  "Thats the truth," I blurted out.

"Really?  How is a pretty thing like you only been with one man?"

I didn't answer right away, and the cane hit its mark even harder. I didn;t know it was possible, it hurt more then I thought I could be hurt.  "I was married," I almost screamed out. 

"Kids?" 

I locked my jaw.  Pain, black, white, pain.

"Is your family all dead?"

I clenched, preparing. But nothing can prepare you for what you can't see.  Pain.

"Where did you learn how to fight"

I clenched and the hit came quicker, this time overlapping with a previous, I screamed, then held it back it. 

"How many have you killed?"

"Human or dead"

"Both."

"I lost count around 50, and never counted the dead."

The hit was even more strong.  "72." I moaned out in pain.

"Why?"

"They all deserved it," I grit my teeth preparing, but nothing came.

"What is the scar on your left shoulder from?"

"Arrow."

"The scar on your neck?"

I didn't answer.  There was three quick hits this time, and I only saw the white.

"Scars on your stomach?"

"Knife wounds."

"How?"

"You're not the first to attempt to break me."

The three quick hits, and I felt my body rebel, consciousness starting to wain.

"What is your name?"

This hit was right below my sex, and hurt like nothing I had felt. I cried out, but said nothing.

"What is your name?" 

I clenched my teeth. The first punch to my face was unexpected.   My jaw hurt, I wondered if I had broken teeth. And my ear hang.   The second and third I was as prepared as I could be, and still I met the black. 

I woke up in dim light.  I could make out the shape of Edna as she placed cold compressed on my legs.  "Shhhh my darling,"  She said as I tried to speak. 

I only whimpered.  My eye was clearly swollen shut, and my lip badly busted. When I felt the ice I wanted to scream but my voice was gone. 

"Shhh the soothing voice said, as I felt a blanket gently covering my body.  I still lay on the cot, still strapped to it, but at least he was gone. 

I took a breath, trying not to cry _.  I am alive, I will get through this. And then I will kill everyone who has a part of this_.

 


	4. My name is....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breaking, battles one at a time.

There is a moment every morning when I love to lay in my bad. Before my brain has completely turned on. There is no memory, no pain, no thoughts.  Just peace. This moment is my favorite of each day.  

_I am alive._

As I open my eyes there is only dark. I can’t tell if this is because I have been given drops again or if the light is out.  It is pitch black, darker then dark, and something about it is terrifying.  As my body wakes up the pain from the last few days begins to sink in. Even if there is light I might not be able to see out of my right eye, its so swollen.  I try to move, only to find myself still strapped to the bed.  

_Mother fucking, fuck.  New plan…time to obey. Time to win their trust and play the same games with them they think they can play with me._

As if I knowing I am awake the lights come on and the door opens. Its blinding. When I scrunch my face I only feel pain, and my jaw hurts.   Negan comes into the room in his usual leather. 

“Good fucking morning sleeply head.”  His smile is almost too big. His teeth too white.  “Its time for you to eat.”  He leans around my body and straps what looks like a giant dog harness onto me.  My arms are released only to be tired behind my back into the harness.  He stands me up, naked, and I can’t help that my eyes are not soft.

_I am going to kill you.  When I am done their won’t even be enough for walker bait._

“Keep that spirit alive precious. Its what makes you so fucking fun.”  He wraps my body in the blanket, and gives me the two ends in my mouth.  You can either be covered, or not. But its your choice. 

_Trying to keep my mouth busy_

“Come on precious.”  Negan leads me into the call.  I have one leash to him infront of me, and he hands off another to Simon behind me.  If I get to close to one they pull it.  When it tightens I hurts my whole body.  Makes it hard to breath.    At one point we stop in the hall.  A man who is greasy and smells like ass comes close to me as both Simon and Negan seem to be talking to others. 

His voice is low, “I can’t wait until Negan is done with you whore.  When he give you over us workers.  I am going to wreck your pussy.  I am going to make it sure you never forget my cock.”  He looks at both men and then grabs my breast.  It is his mistake. He gets too close, I release the blanket, my nakedness surprising him.  I shift my whole weight forward, and sink my teeth into his neck.  There isn’t time for anyone to react as I pull back.  Being showered in blood as the man falls to the ground dying at my feet.

“What the fuck princess I can’t even take you for breakfast?”  Negan exclaims in anger,  the pull on my leash is so tight, I yelp like a small dog.  Covered in blood I must look like Carrie, and he throws me over the side of a chair in the hall.  My ass in the air.  Without warning I feel my ass explode in pain.  Then what I know is blood.  Negan literally beats my ass with his bat.  The barbs pulling out each time hurt more then the hit themselves.  I count each one, blood curdling screams ripped from my lungs.  By eight my ass down to the back of my kness has been struck.  I don’t think I can move.  _I am alive… I am alive….I am alive….”_

Simon is running around like a headless chicken calling men to deal with this one, calling others to clean up, and Negan just stands beside me.  Slapping my ass over and over ontop of the cuts and hits.  I scream, and he laughs.  I hear Simon suggest I be returned or terminated.

“But what would be the fun in that.  She will never learn.”  He says.  When he pulls on my leash to follow him I fall to the ground.  I hit hard. My legs are no longer working due to the pain.  Simon calls another man to come to my side.  The nasty gag is put into my mouth, and I am carried / dragged naked to the cafeteria.  Simon stops at the door, there are atleast 20 people in the room.  All with guns, and all looking like this is nothing new to them.  Simon sets me in a wooden chair at the table.  And I hear handcuffs lock my harness to the chair. 

I scream into the gag.  The pain in my ass and legs is extreme. The dark begins its path up my vision, when I shoot awake as cold water is thrown into my face.  A plate of food is set before my face. It looks like eggs, hashbrowns and oatmeal.  It smells delicious.  Negan personally removes the gag from me.  He whispers into my ear as his bat sits right beside my plate of food. 

“This is Lucille.  You’ve already met her.  She is awesome, but she is one thirsty woman.  So you can either eat quietly or the next to go won’t be your ass but hand.  I will crush it into tiny unrecognizable bits.  Do we understand each other?”

There was no holding back the tears… I whimpered and shook my head yes.  I cried out in pain when he leaned on to my shoulders. The extra weight driving more pain through my body. 

“You will call me Sir,” Negan said, “So what was that?”

I whimpered… _I am alive.. stay alive…. I need my hands…._ “Yes sir.”

“Good girl,” he said petting my hair like a dog and stopping leaning on me, he removes the gag.  Lucile however sat so close to me that if I leans even a tiny bit to the side I would be cut.    I leaned forward to try and eat off the table, but I couldn’t lean forward without extreme pain.  I yelled out loudly. Negan continued to pet my head.  I looked up at him.  “Yes pet?”

“I can’t reach the food,” I said through my tears and gritting my teeth.  My face it the table so quickly I didn’t have time to think.  My arms cut from bring cuffed to the chair, my neck and face from being jammed forward, and I could tell that the swelling around my eye had just burst, as blood now closed my vision.  I whimpered, I cried, and tried not to give these people more of a show other then my tits hanging out, covered in blood, and tears.  _In their eyes I deserve this._

“Negan!” The voice was loud, and angry, and although my vision was almost gone I could see a woman in a black dress. 

“What do you want Sheri?”  His voice measured with sweetness and annoyance.

“I know you have a new toy, but at least feed the poor girl.”  Hands on her hips, she showed Negan he frustration. 

Negan grabbed my hair pulling my neck back to look at him, half upside down.  “Do you want my wife to feed you?” 

I didn’t answer.  The pain was becoming too much.  Tightened and now the pain felt like it was inside my brain.  I heard Sheri’s voice quietly, ask him.

Through spit, tears and blood a small voice I didn’t know I had came out.  “Please sir could she feed me.”

As if satisfied he released me, “Go ahead sheri.”  Negan watched the woman sit down across the table from.  She picked up the fork and fed me a bite of something. I only tasted blood and grease. But it was good.  A second and a third bite, small bites because I couldn’t open my jaw more then a ¼ inch. 

“This is bullshit,”  I heard a man come up behind me, and I braced for impact, instead he poured something on my plate.  Any other time I would have stopped eating, but when Sheri gave me a bite of juice soaked something I ate it gratefully.  It had been already 3 days, and even the liquid felt good on my tongue.  Sheri then helped me take a drink of what I thought was tang, about half way through a hand came and slapped it away.  It split all over me, and I only whimpered.   One more bite is all I got, as I heard Simon behind me.  “She’s killed 4 of our men, and we are feeding her now.  Why isn’t she dead?”  He pulled the plate away, and Negan allowed it.  Sheri only stood up. 

“I will see her at dinner?” She asked Negan, I felt him nod, and Sheri walked away. 

Negan led me back to my cell, and now the bed was gone.  With only the bucket, my ankle was chained to the wall but I was allowed to sit.  I cried out loudly as the pain radiated through my ass.  A few days passed like this.  The harness never removed. I was left naked, I used the bucket, and my wounds healed.  I had no water to wash so I became a mess of dried blood and whatever food was dumped on me.  For dinner one nice hot soup left a giant blister on my leg.  It was at a dinner where I hadn’t had anything dumped on me for once that sheri spoke up.  “Are you done with her, can I please have her washed and clothed.  She stinks.”  Negan looked down at me, pulling my neck back as he loved to do, “Please sir.”  Where the only words I had said in days.  Sheri was given my leash, and she lead me quickly out of the cafeteria.  She brought me to the communal showers, where the blonde man stood, he blocked the door so no one else could come in. 

“My name is Sheri, this is Dwight.  We won’t hurt you,” she said as she began to undo my cuffs.  My arms fell to my side. I didn’t even look at them.  I knew how fucked up I was.  Between the lack of food, and regular beatings, I doubted I looked like a person.  When I harness was removed I crumpled to the flood and cried.  Blonde and Sheri just stared at me.  “He wants to break you, you know this,” She went to pet me head but then stopped.  She took my hand and gently rubbed the knuckles.  “If you want this to stop, you need to hide yourself very deep.  Become someone new. Become what he wants you to be.” 

_I am alive, I am me, and I will kill them all._  

I didn’t speak.  I didn’t think.  All I knew was pain and hunger.  When the water was turned on it was so hot I screamed, Sheri turned it down quickly, washing me with her hand.  I watched as the blood washed away.  I watched as food particles washed away.  After a few minutes the water was clean, and Sheri put soap in my hair and cleaned me. I stood like child, and then ducked under the water as she told me to. Just when Sheri had turned off the water I heard a knock at the door.  Edna came in, shooing Dwight away.  She gave Sheri some clothes, and holding up the towel she began to dry me.  She tisked, and signed seeing my body.  She then brought out some cream and put it on all my wounds.   At first the contact hurt, but then it tingled and helped the pain.  She gave me a bottle of water, and without even thinking, I downed it in a second flat.  Edna filled it under the sink and I repeated. The first time my thirst had been quenched. 

I was give a bra, a very low cut tank top, and tight booty shorts.  They all fit tightly, and when the women led me to the mirror to brush out my hair, I gasped.   I had lost at least 15 lbs in just under a week. I looked sickly, and the bruises had turned all shades of the rainbow.    Edna brushed my hair and then put it back in a tight French braid. 

“He’s going to rape me next isn’t he,”  I spoke, my voice was course and felt sharp.

“I think he is going to think he is giving you an option.  Under duress is the term.  But yes I wouldn’t be surprised if that was next.” Sheri said looking into my eyes in the mirror.  The pity I saw turned my stomach, and I barfed everything back into the sink. 

Edna eyed me.  “You’re playing him,”  She said quietly, darkly. 

I smiled just a touch.  _Kill them all_   

Edna saw it and frowned.  “He is already 10 steps ahead of you.”

“War,”  I said quietly, and Edna nodded.  “Don’t let him use me against you.”  Edna said and Sheri was surprised.  I have no one left, other might hate you for it, but let him bleed me right infront of me.  Just promise me you won’t let me turn.”  Sheri’s face was shocked, and fearful. 

“I promise.”  I nodded at her. 

Dwight knocked on the door, “Boss wants you in his room,”  There were three sets of cuffs, all chained together.  _From a prison_

I let Dwight put them on me.  I let him tighten them, and I even let him put a dog choke chain on my neck.  But he gave me a lot of slack.  Telling me he would go slow so I didn’t get hurt. 

Sheri kissed me on the forehead. Knowing what I was in for.  Edna leaned forward, “Tell me girl what is your name?”  She whispered into my ear.  “I turned and whispered back, “My name is Lara.”   Edna nodded and left the room. 


	5. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Took a little to get it right, but here is the next chapter.

The hall way felt impossibility long.  Each step felt like I was walking to my own funeral. 

_He can’t break me.  He thinks he can break me.  Wait for my moment.  He will take me, he will take me, He won’t win. He can’t win, I am alive.  I am alive._

Dwight did his best to go slow, but by the time we were outside of Negan’s room my neck ached. A little bit of blood dripped down my neck due to collar.    Dwight wiped the blood off my neck.  He mouthed the words, “I’m sorry,” and then he opened the door. 

Sitting on a leather couch Negan didn’t even move as Dwight led me into the room. Negan put his hand out, for Dwight to give him the leash.  Dwight followed and was dismissed with a nod of his head.  Negan looked at me, looking me over. 

“You clean up nicely,” Negan said pulling me closer to him.  The collar pulls me down to my knees beside Negan, and he smiles.   “Good pet,” he begins petting my head.  I recoil, and then whimper as there is no give as the collar digs into my neck. 

“Shhhh pet,” he says has he continues to pet me.  I whimper again. “You’ve had a rough few weeks, don’t you think its time for something a bit nicer?” 

Allowing him to pet me I find my voice, making sure to make it sounds small, “What do you want from me?”  I look up from my spot on the floor, trying not to look more helpless. 

Negan’s laugh is colored with both lust and darkness. “Well shit, I got my fingers crossed for a little freaky-deaky.”  He smiles, his fingers cupping my face.  

I want to spit in his face, to bite at his hand. But still having my hands, ankles and neck in locks leaves me with little choice.  _Play along._   

“That’s not what I was asking.  You can find a woman anywhere.  What do you want from me?”

Negan’s smile widened, and then his finger traced my lip.  I held back the urge to bite.  

“Well pet, I want to watch as the fight goes out of your eyes. I want to watch as you give in.   And I am going to be the one you give yourself to.”  His finger continued to brush my lips.    “You’re fighting even now, I know you keep thinking about to attack or to stay quiet. I see it in your eyes.  Your planning.”  He grabs the color around my neck.  Pulling me into his face.  “I see you.” He says his voice becoming dark, he kisses me deeply, and roughly.  It tastes like coffee and man, there is a nothing I can do to stop his invasion.  When he pulls back he smiles, knowing he had an effect on me.  He’s voice is quiet and calm, “I see you Lara.  I see you all the way through.” 

I smile, unable to hide it. _Of course she told him._ “I see you too Negan.” He pulls back, _He thought knowing my name was another move in this game._ I let out a small chuckle.  “You are the king of this little world.  Everyone bows to you. Everyone fears you.  But I won’t ever bow to you willingly, I won’t ever fear you.  And mark my words, I will never be yours. Oh and just so you know, my name’s not Lara.” His eyes grow glossy for a second. No one speaks to him like this, and even knowing the pain that will follow I threw my head back and then connected with his.  He falls back pulling tightly on my collar, but I gritted my teeth determined not to cry out.  I could feel the spikes dig into my neck in more then one spot.  The groan from him makes it well worth it.

When he regained his senses, he just smiled at me.  A smile that was full rage, and pain for me.  His leg scooped around me as he pinned me to the couch under this one leg. I lay there helpless to move under the weight of his body.  I lay there, silent still smiling like I just won a prize.  I feel as he releases the collar, taking it off my neck, he rubs some cream on my neck roughly. Then slides something over my head onto my face.  _Ski goggles?_ My world is pitch black.  I feel him undo each of my cuffs, as my arms ached going to my side naturally. And then he released me. I just lay on the coach waiting to take my beating, planning how to use this moment to get away.  He smiles down at me for a few moments.  

“Get up,” he voice calls from behind me behind me.  I didn’t move.  I’m still seeing stars, despite what I was going to tell him. “Get up,”  I sit up a little and take off the goggles.  I hear a clicking sound a second before the feeling of pain. Each pulse of pain travels down my neck.  Then the pain stopped, and I sit up slowly, my body feeling like it had just been run over a truck. Negan stands in front of me, towering over me,  “Put them back on.” He said with almost music in his voice.  I didn’t move.  Then out of no where the pulse of pain rocks my body.  It was the second time, _I can handle this_ , but then instead of stopping I could feel the pulse travel down my leg, and then the pain increase’s.  I screamed out something guttural and fall to my knees.  The pain stops.  Negans hand is in my hair petting me again.  His touching me set my skin on fire.  I grunted once. All I was able to get out in the moment. 

“Put the mask back on or else,” he says this time almost playing, and when I didn’t move the pulse was back.  This time so increased the pulses carried fire.  Each pulse flowing through my body, and then when the pain hit any other spot already in pain the process accelerated. Like added gas to a fire.  My body was engulfed in pain.  While the waves from the first were endurable, adding the wave after wave of pain went from bad to worse to something I never experienced before.  Then every part of my body started to panic. I was losing control. Who was I joking, I had lost control. I had no sense of where my body was, what it was doing, and no way to make the pain stop.  I lay on the floor, grunting, growling, and groaning when the pain stopped my thoughts were just static.  I felt my body twitching on the ground, drool coming out of my mouth.  The sounds around me hurt for a few seconds as my body regained the ability to process. 

Negan was laughing, full on belly laughing.  And he sounded like he couldn’t stop.  I just lay there.  At some point I dragged my legs underneath me, holding in a sob.  The fire in my blood subsided, but left pain its wake.  It felt like hours, but then suddenly Negan pulled me up to the couch.  I slumped to the side.   Unable able to move a small bit. 

Negan was all smiles and charm.  “Well pet, you just got to met a friend of mine, meet my stun gun precious.”  He smiled his big cocky grin, and I wanted to punch out every single one of those teeth, but I am only barley pulling myself back into control. 

“Put the goggles back on, or I will stun you again.  That was level 2, and I have 3 more to go.” Negan laughed again.  “Damn girl, you should see what a mess you are in only 5 seconds.”

I sat there staring up at him.  _I will kill you_

“Moves and countermoves pet.” He sat down beside me on the coach, grabbing me, pulling these goggles back over my eyes.  Through the dark he is kissing me again. I had no strength to pull away, and my head was so cloudy, it felt so good to be kissed after the pain. After everything.  The kiss deepened, I did nothing to stop him.  I had no thoughts.  My body responded to not just having no pain, but having pleasure.  And when he practically climbed on top of me I did nothing to stop him.  He kissed down my neck, and it wasn’t until I felt the scruff on my neck did my hands go up. Pushing him to get off me.  The scruff made me remember. I didn’t want to remember. I panicked.

“Get off, get off.” I pushed at his chest.

Negan pulled back,  “What was that?”  He smiled, feeling how I had given in for a moment.  “You see this? This is the kind of thing that just tickles my balls.” I can feel him move on the coach and I slap the air, clearly making contact.    

“Even blinded you are still a hellcat aren’t you.”  I can hear the smile, but my world is gone.  Only black. 

“Stop, please just stop.” I said catching my breath. 

Negan smiled, “Here the deal, you wear those goggles 24/7. Only when you are good do you get to take them off.  Only when I say.  I am your world now sweetpea.” He chuckles.  “Everytime you take them off, you pay.  And frankly I want to see what the next setting in this stun gun will do when it makes contact to some of your more tender flesh.”  Even in the dark I know he is going to touch me again, and all I can do is curl up into a ball, like a small child.

Suddenly he takes my hand and pulls me to my feet. My legs almost give out, and I cry out as I feel like I am falling.  He catches me with easy, and I am already cursing these goggles.  When he pulls me in one direction, I hit my leg off something, I go to pull off these damn things, but Negan is faster, and my other hand is caught in his.  He squeezes my wrist tightly.  It hurts, not that I will let him know. 

“That is your one and only freebie hellcat.” He says with a tone I can’t tell what it is.

“Then you need to slow the fuck down.  You wanna be my world, then your gonna need to be my fucking eyes you bastard.” He chuckles, and leads me into another room.  I can only tell this from the sounds of a door opening and closing.  And then I am left standing in the middle of an empty space. 

I feel awkward, shaky on my legs, and suddenly very very vulnerable.  I hear a noise to the side, I have no idea what it is and I turn slightly.  A moment later a noise from another side and I turn. Negan is suddenly in my space, the smell of him is thick and sweet. I feel his chest, he took off his shirt.  My shirt and bra are ripped off in no time. Negan is down infront of me when he pulls down my shorts.  He removes them, and sticks if face so close to my sex, that if I could see I would knee him in the jaw and rip his throat out. 

 _But I can’t see.  He is going to rape me._  Fear is building fast in my gut.  When Negan steps back and leaves me standing in the middle of the space again, I feel so helpless, so vulnerable. I hear more noises, this time without even thinking I rip the damn goggles off.   As if I hadn’t learned my lesson before I am met with a click, and then pain.  I couldn’t open my eyes even if I wanted to.  I fell to the floor at one point, and I would have thought I passed out.  But I was on fire again. I was moved from the floor, and I cried out.   There was no stopping the sobs.  

I lost track of time as I sobbed, and then as my body and my brain came too I realized I was in bed.  Under soft sheets, with the smell of him all around me.  Laying on my side there was an arm under my head, and another one rubbing my body slowly. 

“Shhhhhhh… you just gotta listen to my baby.  Listen to me and there won’t be any more pain.  Shhhhhhh…..” he rubbed my arms, my belly, down my legs.  His body pressed up against mine.  More then once I tried to pull away. But there was no where to go, and I was too weak.   My mind filled with fear, and panic.  Each touch soothed me, and frankly I didn’t want him to sooth me.  I wanted to get away.   But my body was weak, and I felt myself drift off to sleep. 

When I awoke all I could smell was him,  and I could feel him shifting on the bed.  There was a breeze across my core, and I realized I had been relieved of my panties.  The world was dark, and it took me a moment to remember these damn googles, I was about to rip them off, “I wouldn’t do that pet,”  Negan said, it wasn’t just the ton in his words but the fact that I could feel his breath down there. 

“We are going to play a game pet.” He said as I felt him lift my legs over his shoulders.  His face so close to my sex I could feel the air from him.  And no matter what I thought of, I knew I was growing wet. 

“I am going to ask you a question, and you are going to answer.  If you tell me quickly and truthfully I will stop, if you don’t tell me enough or lie to me I will keep going.  Do you understanding?”

When I said nothing there was suddenly the swipe of his warm tongue up my lips and to my clit.  I let out a “Yes,” very quickly, more of a squeak. 

 “Question 1…..how old are you?”  Then immediately after he started licking.  Drawing a line around my core. 

“34,”  I answered a little breathless.  When I tried to push to get up he pushed me back down with ease, I was about to take off these goggles, I heard him growl. “If you do that, I will test this on your pussy.”  I stopped, as he pushed me slowly back down. 

“Question 2, where did you learn to fight?” 

I took a breath, as the feeling of him sucking on my lips almost caused me to loose my concentration.   “I trained in Krav Maga before.” But then he kept again, he wanted more.  “I’ve…I’ve had time to improve and had some good teachers since.” 

He lifted his head, “You taste so damn good.” He said clearly licking his lips.  I knew I was blushing.  Goosebumps when across my skin, and I was so embarrassed. There was nothing in the world right now but him, me, and the feel of him on my core.   

I could feel him smile as he moved up to suck my clit. He knew exactly what he was doing as I cried out, “You didn’t ask anything.”

Negan chuckles. “Family before hand?”  I grit my teeth.  He doesn’t get to ask that.  When he takes my clit into his mouth and sucks, he hears me moan out.  But I don’t say thing.  Then I feel one finger at my entrance. He releases with a pop sound, “Family before hand, or I will make you cum all over my hand like a whore.”

 “Ask me something else. I choose what I talk about from my life before.” I have no authority in my voice.

“That’s not how this is going to work.  You answer my questions, or…”he said as a finger slowly enters me.  I can do nothing but moan out.  I try to buck a little, but his mouth is back on my clit.  His finger is joined by another.  Stretching me, in and out.   

 “That’s it baby,” he says between licks, and tiny nibbles.  I buck and try to move, but he is clearly enjoying the fight underneath him. He started to pick up a bit of speed with his fingers, he is going so deep into me.   I feel him bite the inside of my leg, “Tell me,” he says darkly and possessively.        

After a few more thrusts I stop moaning.  My mind is taking over.  I am not telling him anything. I try to separate myself from what is happening.  I can feel him doing things to my body, but I hide deep within myself.  As if knowing what I am doing he pulls out, biting me again, this time hard.  “No you don’t pet,” he says as I look up at the ceiling trying to withdraw.  He slaps my lips roughly, it pulls me out of my daze, a moan and scream rip out of me at once.  Then he takes my nipple into his mouth.  He sucks hard, and then soft, nipping before going to the other breast. 

“You are mine,” he says, his fingers starting to play with my clit.  The moan that comes out of me is unmistakable, and then he smacks my core again, hard.  Again I scream, and he returns with gentle touches, and rubbing slow circles on my clit. 

“I’ll make you a deal,” his voice is full of lust. “You can keep your secrets, for now. But you are going to come all over my face.”  I pause, my breathing stops.  I can’t deny the lust coursing through my own body.  I nod.  I feel him smile, as he takes a lick at me again. But just like him, I feel him grab my ass, and I feel my world turn over.  I suddenly realize that he wants me to fuck his face.   I freeze in my tracks.  I feel his damn toothy grin below me.  “Either this, or we can go back to torture for information?”  He said, and then he takes my clit in his mouth and pops it again.   A horse cry comes from me, and I fall forward, finding a wall.  I lean forward and begin.  _Holy shit_  is the only thing that comes through my mind as he grabs my hips and ass and I start to ride his face.  My hips begin to pump on his tongue.  More then once I grind down on him so close, only for him to stop sucking, or stop licking.  Finally I grab his hair and pull him in tight.  And with no thought I grind out my first orgasm in months in his face.  Its wet, and intense, and without thought I scream out, “Oh my god baby don’t stop.”  After a while I collapse on the bed beside him.  I feel him leave the bed, and I hear a bathroom faucet. 

I just lay on the bed, covering myself up in the blankets.  I hear him humming to himself as he comes back into the room. 

“Now that the fun parts done. Time to get to work.”  He says shocks me by throwing me some clothes.  My world is dark, my world is lost, in just a few short hours my world has become Negan.   


	6. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets dark as Negan finally finds a way to break you.  
> Triggers of all sorts - Warning Warning and Warning

Have you ever walked down a dark alley? Felt the hairs on your arm rise,  heard a noise, and yet saw nothing. Your skin crawls. You become hyper aware of everything, your blood starts pumping, and that fight or flight reflex hits.  Sometimes you want to run, other times you want to hide.  But one thing that never changes, you become ready.  Ready to be hit, to be scared, to go, to stay.    My world was now this state of fear and ready.

Negan brought me with him for his rounds.  Blind to where I was, unaware of where we were going, up stairs, down stairs, or even how many stairs. Already I was learning the peoples voices.  Dinner that night went almost fine. Sheri sat beside me feeding me. _Like a damned child._  Some things weren’t an issue but things like cups were impossible without help.  Later in the evening Negan took me by the hand, and had me sit beside him on a couch and just sit with him.   I eventually figured out that he was reading, but any time I moved, he pulled me in back close. 

I woke up in his bed, naked, with his body pressed up against mine.   I slowly shifted my arm free and was able to move the googles up my head.  It was dark.  Clearly night.  The light from an alarm clock seemed so bright to me.  I tried to roll away slowly only to be brought back tight against Negan.  I grunted, shifted my googles back on and fell back asleep. 

My favorite part of the day.  My body slowly waking up, I rolled slightly to my side, smiling as I enjoyed a nice big stretch.  My eyes still closed, I felt his hardness pull against my ass.  A bigger smile, I roll over to greet the day in a new fun way when I reach over an grip his hardness.  _Andrew loves waking up to morning sex_. I smile.  The grunt I hear stops me dead.  Not the voice I was expecting.  As I go to release his manhood my eyes fly open, and I feel his large hand cover mine.  It all floods back.  _Fucking googles._ And then there seems to be no other option so I allow myself to freak.  I recoil and scream.  I scream load and long and so hard that the man sleeping beside me jerks up from the bed, and is yelling at me what the hell is wrong. 

Suddenly my world is flushed with colour, the goggles ripped off my head.  The face that invades my vision, its the face in my nightmares, its so close.  I look at it, not perceiving.  My hand slaps the face before thinking, and my brain turns on a the contact.  I stop screaming scrambling into a corner of the room, trying to run from the pain that will soon be here.  _Fuck, for 5 seconds I forgot._  

Negan sits on the bed, rubbing his jaw, shock and tiredness equally wear on his face. “What the fuck was that princess,” Negan says standing and walking around the bed.  His clearly tented boxers needing to be adjusted. 

“I forgot for a minute,” I cry, tears flowing even though theres no sound. 

Negan softens for a moment, “Forgot what?”  He knees down beside me, a hand rubbing my check. 

“That he’s dead. That you’re not him.” I spit out. 

“Your husband?” 

I nod, not answering.  _He’s gone, he’s dead, and there’s nothing I can do about it._ Without thinking the tears begin to roll down my far.  There is nothing I could do to stop it.   The kiss that Negan planted on my check was soft, gentle and sincere.  Then he pulled the googles back over my eyes.   Pulling me to the edge of the bed. 

Tears still streaming down my face, I felt as Negan slowly dressed me.  Then sitting on the edge of the bed, I heard as he dressed himself.  Instead of grabbing my arm, or side to push me around where he wanted to go, he took my hand.  Normally I only hard lunch and dinner, but instead I followed the path as I was led to the cafeteria.  I was gently set in a chair, and then heard a plate set infront of me. 

“Bacon and toast,” Negan said as I heard him talk to a few people.  I sat quietly and eat, no one bothering me, no one throwing anything at me.  Negan sits beside me eventually, I hear him eating.  I sit feeling so valuable, so raw.  Somehow he got under my skin.  Somehow he is already breaking me. 

“Here, coffee,” he says, putting the mug to my lips.  I take a deep sip.  Its warm and bitter, and tasted like a Saturday morning at home with her boys.  That was the moment.  The moment I realized I had given in. And decided that I wasn’t going to let this happen.  There is a difference between playing and giving in.  And I had lost the difference. 

Later in the morning Negan had things to do, and I’d been given over to a man to be put to good use.  I was left to washing dishes, with the googles on.   After about 20 mins I heard the man walk away.  A small knife was easily slipped into my sock without anyone noticing, and I kept washing the dishes until Negan came and got me for lunch. 

Lunch was uneventful, but after lunch I was put into another mans arms.  As soon as we were away from everyone he pushed me against the wall.  His breathe was hot and smelled, as he breathed down my neck. His hand slowly lifting up my shirt, feeling me.  I lifted my hand to my sock and pulled the knife.  Stabbing him, over and over and over again.  The blood was warm, and flowed freely.  He stopped making any sound, and I hide the knife in the sole of my sock.  I dropped the goggles onto the dead man, and pulled myself up. I was not going to die in this place.

I made it down the hall, down a set of stairs, no one saw me.  But then someone saw the blood, someone saw the footprints, and I heard them follow.  Quick and quiet I went, when I turned to see if they were coming I missed the man stepping out in front of me.  I crashed into him, tumbling down.  He grabbed at me, trying to pin me to the ground. I couldn’t even tell you all of the obscenities that he spewed, but the punch to my stomach had me grunt out in pain.  I elbowed him jaw, then two quick punches and he was out.  I was up and down the hall, but not before I was seen.  _Of course._  I ran, I ran fast, and with all my strength, but when a hard body tackled me. I threw a knee, but the pain from my head hitting the ground rocked my world.  My vision was blurry, but I fought.  When a large hand grabbed my head and slapped it against the concert there was nothing but black. Black and pain.  But I knew I had lost, and it might have been better if I would have died.

When I awoke pain in my eyes kept my eyes shut.  But I felt everything that was going on.  I was naked, my body half on and half off a large table.  My arms tied to two corners of the table in front of me,  my ass propped up in the air with a bench or something, and my legs tied to the table.  I heard someone behind me, grunting, moving things around. 

“Time to wake up,” Negan’s voice was full of something that caused me to grow fearful. 

Turning my head a little I looked back at him. 

“I should have excepted it, there are always a few set backs.  But I thought maybe we had come past this.”  Negan took the knife and drove it into the table right beside my face. 

I remained silent.  _Maybe if you didn’t treat me like an animal._

I felt something slippery and wet touch my anus.  I jumped a little unable too move far. 

“Sadly it means I have to escalate this, and frankly my dear, I don’t think your going to like it.” As he said that a lube coated finger buried deep into my ass.  I inhaled deeply but said nothing. 

“Clearly not a virgin to anal I see,” I could here the smile drip off of his voice.  A second, and third finger sliding in. Again no sound came out of my lips.

“Well that is a little disappointing I was hoping for some screams. Clearly Andrew was into some kinky shit.”

Everything in me wanted to buck, wanted to squirm, wanted to yell at him to stop.  But I had learned if it was their intension to cause pain better not let them see it.  Or they come back for more.  I just laid there, a lifeless body for him to play with. 

I felt him scissor and stretch me, and then felt something cold and large slowly pushed in as his fingers pulled out.  Within a moment or two I knew he had put a large plug in my ass. It was cold so I guessed it was metal. 

“You see I learned a lot about you over the last few days. This isn’t your first rodeo, the scars on your belly, the way you play good and wait for your moment.  I don’t know who took you before, but they were clearly into physical pain.  But you cracked with a single memory of your husband.  By the time I am done with you, poor Andrew won’t even recognize you.” 

The pain came  within a second, and it was like nothing that I had ever felt before.  It started in my ass, I was on fire, and it radiated out to all of my body.   I heard myself scream, but had no control over it.  When the pain subsided, I had no memory of time, or of anything put the pain. 

A hand slowly touched my core, and the contract was like putting ice on a fire.  It hurt more then words can say.  Negan began rubbing my clit, the pain slowly turned into a different type of burn. And I had no way to stop myself as my hips bucked a little as the pleasure almost crested. 

Then pain, blinding white pain.   I screamed long and hard, and my voice ached when the pain dissipated. This time I felt him at my entrance.  He was well endowed, and with the plug in my ass he felt huge.   Inch by inch he slid into me.  I whimpered but said nothing.  I felt him pump in and out.  Felt each ridge and all the hardness of this man.  When he pulled out and the pain came back even more, I realized I knew what was happening.  Then the pain was gone I looked past my body to have my suspicions confirmed.  There on a side stand I watched as he put down the taser. 

 _I am going to use that taser on you like this someday_ were my only thoughts when I felt him push into me again.  This time he was fully hilted and a whimper escaped before I could stop it.     

“Good girl, you’re taking your punishment like a champ.  Shh now pet, soon it will be over.”  He pulled out and then rammed back in hitting the very back of me.  I tried to move a little to get away.  But then I felt his finger slowly circle my clit while he rammed into me.  And just like a bitch in heat, I had no control as my hips pushed back, and my body began to respond. 

He pulled out and I screamed until no sound came out.  The electricity almost visible behind my eyes.  He pumped harder, grinding my clit harder, and when he felt my body involuntarily begin to come he pulled out, dialed up the taser, and shocked me with the highest setting. 

I passed out.  I must have, because when I awoke the plug had been removed from my ass, and I had been flipped over and retied to the table.  Negan just smiled at me.    A small exacto knife in his hand.

“Every other bastard got to leave his mark on you, I think its only fair that I do too,” he said taking his time to slowly carve, Negan, on my left hip.  It was about 1 inch high by 2 inchs wide, and it hurt more then I expected.    When he was done he set down the knife and came face to face looking into my eyes.

He said nothing, and I did my best to give nothing back in return.  The kiss was long and hard that he gave me.  I had no way to pull away or stop him when his tongue invaded my mouth. And just when I thought to bite him, he pushed into the newly cut flesh, which forced my mouth wider for him to kiss.  I felt him slid into me.  He was hard and fast, and took what he wanted.  When I thought he was close he slowed, now slowly gently playing with my clit.   His thumb circling the tender flesh expertly.  When my hips started to buck involuntarily his doubled his own pace. 

“That’s right pet, cum with me,” he growled as he felt my cunt tighten in his shaft, and then I felt him gush into me.  No protection, no meds, just him taking his joy with my body.  I went over the edge, and almost lost my breath trying not to moan his name. 

He pulled out abruptly, wiping himself off on a clothe to the side.  He pushed on the cut flesh on my hip has he pulled his pants on, wanting to hurt me.  Once he was dressed, I felt him untie my legs from the table only to tie them together tightly.  He fastened an open mouth gag tightly, holding my nose to get it into place. It hurt but I remained silent.  When he shifted my body down the table I understood and closed my eyes. My head hung over the edge of the table. 

I heard the door open, and his very specific instructions.  “You may use her mouth any way you wish.  No cutting, and if you see her bruise stop. Her bottom half is mine, and if any of you touch her there at all I will rip your dick off myself.”  I heard him walk back into the room, he leaned down and whispered into my ear. “Be a good girl for the men. I will see you in a few days.” 

I saw Simon was the first in line, and after him, I lost track of time. 

Three days later I finally woke up out of my nightmare.  The water was cold, and my body was covered in bruises.  The water hurt.  A voice told me to be calm, it was ok.  But I heard nothing, I didn’t recognize anything.  When a bottle of water was given to me I drank it down, half dibbling it down my body as my jaw seemed not to close.  I was dressed, my hair was done, and next thing I knew I was laid on the bed in Negan’s room. 

He smelled like mint and coffee, and it smelled good.  And when he gently pulled me into him, I didn’t struggle.  I fell asleep in his arms, and it might have been the best nights sleep I had in my entire life. 


	7. A New Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan decides its time to get some information.

Morning came, the sun just peaking over the horizon.  I took a deep breath.  The smell of old spice, and the warmth.  My brain still foggy, I pushed into the warmth and was greeted with his man hood.  I took a deep breath and remembered.  When his hand slid down my front and into my underwear I stilled.  His breath was heavy down my neck.  It sent shivers down my spine.

“Shhhh little one…” he whispered gently in my ear.  His hand found my core, trying to awaken something in me, but I kept my legs tightly shut.   “It’s ok, one day you will bag for it,” the little growl and then he nipped my ear gently. I didn’t move as he cupped my breast, pinched my nipples through my shirt.   I squirmed a little, pushing away him.  Trying not to move to much, he pushed hard into my ass.  Stroking hard on my ass he grunted a little.  Eventually he got up, moving to the bathroom.  He left the door open for me to see.  I watched as he closed his eye, head leaning back just a little. He stroked his cock in clear view.   He sighed my name as he came, then cleaned himself up.   He locked eyes with me, as he walked over to his boxers, slowly pulling them up. 

Once he was dressed he handed me some clothes, a short sundress. It was low cut, sat high on my thighs.  There was no underwear, no bra.   “Get dressed,” he said gruffly.  After sliding on a set of sandals he gave me, he took my hand, standing me in the middle of the room.  “Clearly what I have been doing isn’t working.  So time to change in rules.  You don’t leave my side. You do as I tell you when I tell you, or I will pass you back to the men.  Do you understand?”  He said tilting my face to look him in the eyes.

I nodded, but looked away quickly.

He smiled his million dollar smile and moved into my space.  I stepped back, he made chase.  When I hit the wall there was nothing I could do, and both his hands landed on the wall on either side of my face.  Then moving in he kissed me.  Kissed me hard, and took my mouth with such strength, there was nothing I could do to but wait for the invasion to be done. 

When the kiss finally broke off, he took my hand leading me to the cafeteria for breakfast.   When he sat down there was no chair for me.  I looked around.  He sat at the end of the table, I stood looking awkward.   “On your knees, here,” he said.  I looked at the spot on the ground. Not moving.  “Move now, or…” When I didn’t move Simon came up behind me.  Before I could think he bent me over the table.  My unclothes ass in the air for all to see.  “Now or Simon will spank you for all to see.”  When I tried to fight another man came beside me pushing my back onto the table.   I was able to get an elbow free hitting the man in the chest.  Knocking the wind out of him.   Suddenly there were too more men,  pulling my arms straight, I dug my nails into the hands, and they pulled me tight. 

When the first strike hit, the pain exploded.  He stuck me again, before I could even think.  The belt he was using leaving clear marks.  It was the third strike, that was on top of the first that had me cry out, “Stop please I’ll listen.”  The men released and Simon slowly pulled my skirt back down.    I whimpered and took my place beside Negan. 

“Good girl,” Simon said petting my head as he got his plate and sat beside Negan. 

Negan didn’t look at me once, I just sat at his feet. My knees began to ache, and I couldn’t lean back as my legs hit my ass.   After 20 mins Negan held a piece of food in front of me,  a quarter piece about toast.  I didn’t move.  Negan looked down at me.  When I didn’t move he ate it himself. 

Negan didn’t offer me anything again for that meal, and I sat there watching everyone else eat.  It had been a few days since I had eaten, and the last time I drank was in the shower.  My stomach growled loudly.  Negan smiled but didn’t look down.  

When he was done eating he stood and offered me his hand.   I didn’t move, “Take it or…” I took it before the or was all the way out.   As we did rounds, he didn’t let me more then a foot away from him.  He held my hand, my wrist, my waist, or when he was talking to his men then I stood with Simon.  His hands tight on my elbow.   Simon whispered into my ear, “You know that if he dies you become mine, right?  I wouldn’t let you off that table in the play room.  I would take you so many times. You would never stop screaming and would never leave that room again.” 

I stiffened.  “So you have three options, 1 please him till he releases you, 2 kill him and become mine, 3 find a new way to  become valuable.” Simon smelled like smoke and body odour.  The fact that he kept getting so close to look down my shirt bothered me.  

Lunch I knelt beside Negan without any struggle.  He handed me a small piece of cheese, and when I refused to eat he just put it back on his plate.   He gave me a small bite size amount of a bun, and again I refused to eat it.  The water he poured down my face, and I did nothing. The afternoon we did more walking around the factory.  Checking on supplies, talking to his lieutenants.   When we got to the armory I tried more then once to look around. Tried to see what I could get my hands on. But there was no where for me to hide anything.  Then I saw it, my bow had been unstrung, and was sitting on the table.  My scope dismantled.  My hand sling and quarters and ball bearings sitting on the table.  I sighed deeply. 

Negan smiled, “See something you like?” He asked, his hand running across my ass.   I touched the edge of a knife blade it was dull.  I made a face.

“What?”  Negan asked seeing the look on my face.

“Whoever is sharpening you blade is doing it wrong, they are actually making it dull.”

“Really, how so?” Negan asked pulling in close to me. 

“May I?” I asked before touching the blade. Simon had his hand on his holster.  Ready to shoot me if needed. Negan nodded, and I picked up the blade.  “Whoever is doing it is doing it straight like this.” I showed him.  “They need to do it on a slight 45% angle.  Not only will it be sharper, but it is also easier.” 

“MMMM….” Was all Negan said slowly taking the knife and setting it on the table.  I was silent.  Dinner was uneventful, except that Sheri had come and asked if I could come hang with the wives tonight.   Negan said it would be ok.  

Drinks with the wives was fine.   I asked one or two small questions, no one here had any idea about Negans special room.   Sheri shhhhed me more then once.   One of the wives brought me a glass of whiskey when she saw that I wasn’t drinking my wine.  I took a big gulp.  Then after a few minutes finished it, and she brought me another.  She smiled, and then after I drank it I saw her go to the door and talked to a guard at the door.   Right then my vision went a little wonky.  I stood.  “You bitch, you drugged me,”  When the ground got close I know I was falling.  I braced myself, and hit hard.   The boots that were infront of me I knew on sight. 

“No…no…. no….” I sputtered, as he helped me up, the scooped me up bridals style.  

“Shhhhh little pet….” He said carrying me to his room. 

I giggled, whatever he had given to me knocked down all my inhibitions.  At one point I was giggling so much  he had to put me down, and then throw me over his shoulder instead.  I giggled loudly as he smack my ass. 

“Calm the fuck down,” he said bouncing me once on his shoulder.  Again, I giggled.   When he dumped me on his couch.  “Shit give some girls a roofie and they get all giggles.” 

“Did you give me flunitrazepam?” I giggled.

“I gave you something called Rohypnol.” Negan said pouring himself a drink. 

I let out a huge giggle, “Alex use to give that to me so often,  I don’t think it works like you want.” 

“Whose Alex?” Negan asked taking off his shirt.

“Alex is the bastard got my family killed. Dumb son of a bitch. “ I giggle as Negan hands me his glass and I gulp it down. 

Negan frustrated grabbed his glass from me and then refilled it.  “Tell me what happened to Andrew.”

“Give me another drink and I will,” I giggled.  Negan poured me a quarter of a glass. “More…” he add a bit more.  “All the way if you want me to go all the way.” I giggled again for a good minute over that one as he filled the glass to the top. Giving it to me I chugged half and then held the rest.  I took a deep breath. Here is goes.

“After everything went to shit my apartment building kindof banded together.   I was a bit of a prepper before hand so I was able to help get everyone together.   Alex was this biker dude in our building.   I went on a run for supplies and one day I came back and somehow the Z’s got in.   My husband got bit, and got away. But he couldn’t save my boys.  I wasn’t there to save them.   When my husband was in the thralls of the fever he admitted to me that he ran instead of tried to save them.  I killed him.  I stuck him right then and there.”

Negan coughed on his drink.  

“Alex grabbed me one night, threw me in the back of his truck with two of his boys, and then took me to his motorcycle club. Between anyone that was left he was in charge.  He was a sadistic mother-trucker, and more then once killed a girl in front of me to get me to cooperate with him.”

“And did you?”  Negan watched me closely.

“At first yes.  Then I stopped talking to them, so when he killed them I didn’t care.”

“What happened then?”

“That’s when he started cutting on me, and drugging me.”

“And then,” 

“After almost a year he let his guard down.  I took a knife, and I killed each one of his men in their sleep. When he woke up he found them all dead and it was just him and me.   That night when he came to my room I cut his legs, then his arms, then his manhood.  I left him there as I let the Z’s in. I hid in another room behind glass and watched as he got eaten alive. “

 Negan’s face had grown pale. “Who the fuck are you?”


	8. His

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His...

When I woke up that morning I knew something had changed.  First Negan wasn’t snuggled up to me as he had been in the past.  Next both of my hands were locked to the headboard with handcuffs.  Lastly I was still dressed.  Oh and I had one hell of a hangover.  _What the fuck happened_

Negan came out of the bathroom and just stared at me.  A good minute no words, and just stared. 

“How much do you remember from last night?”  Negan asked pulling on some pants. 

“Bits and pieces.  Its fuzzy……did you drug me?”  I tried to pull back and sit up even with my hands still cuffed.

“Yes and the results were…. interesting.”  No toothy smile from him like he had in the past.  I said or did something that scared him.  I could tell. I had seen that look before.  I sat there just watching him as he dressed, then he came over and undid my handcuffs, handing me a new dress to wear. 

After getting dressed he took me hand and we walked to breakfast, more slowly then we had in the past. He was deep in thought.   When we got to the cafeteria he set me to my new spot and I knelt just watching his face.  Someone brought him some food, and he ate it mindlessly. He never offered me anything.  It seemed to set everyone in a mood as the cafeteria became must quieter then it had in the past. 

When he was done we stood and he took me to the armory, which was surprising to me.  He asked me to show two of his men how to sharpen the knives properly.  He sat in the corner cleaning a gun just watching me.  I spent the time to explain to the men the fact that a dry stone shouldn’t actually be dry, and the angle to sharpen.  A few of the knifes had their edge taken right off them and when I tried to tell Negan he should scrap these he didn’t hear me.  He was still deep in thought.   When I was done Negan took my hand and led me down a hall. 

I stopped and pulled him to look at me when no one was around.  “What is going on with you today,”  I asked trying to find out if today was my moment or if this meant something worse for me.  Before my sentence was even out Negan grabbed me by the throat, pushing me backwards and then with a hard thump against the wall. He lifted me slightly off the ground and squeezed.  I tried to breathe but couldn’t, I tried to scream but couldn’t.  And when I kicked or tried to get away I couldn’t.  He held me there until the edges of my vision grew blurry, and the angry on his face was unmistakable. 

He slowly let me down but his hand not releasing, “I am not your weak Andrew, but I am also not Alex who deserves to be put down.  I am Negan, your master, and you will respect me.” He slammed me a little harder on the wall, my vision seeing the dark edges. Getting real close to my ear he whispered, “You will be mine.” He released just a little, his face softening, and his other hand coming up to my check, gently rubbing. “I can be kind to a good girl.  Good pets get privileges.” He released me all together and just stared into my eyes.  Then he took my hand and we continued to walk down the hall to some meeting he had. 

I didn’t really pay attention to the meeting. My throat hurt, and I knew it would bruise.  I just watched Negan.  I knew I had babbled a lot last night but had I really told him everything? I sat quietly and was lost in thought that when he handed me half a bottle of water he didn’t finish I drank it without thinking.  Giving the bottle back to him he smiled down at me and pet my head. And then I realized I had just given in just a little. 

The rest of the day was uneventful until he brought me with him to a room where the wives were having dinner.  He motioned me to knell in the corner, and I did watching as he spent a small amount of time with each woman.  5 in total.  He sat by them and ate, talking with them, small kisses on the forehead which they all seemed to love. Even Sheri kissed him deeply before he left her side of another woman. 

As dinner wore down one of the wives stayed close.  Negan smiled at her a few times, and as the other women left it was just the three of us.  “I am not having her share in our time,” she said in her slightly shrill voice. 

“I promise baby no threesomes, but she is my new pet, and frankly baby if you want to make me happy tonight, she is not leaving my sight.” 

“Fine, but can you at least put a lease on her or something so that she won’t kill us or something? I’ve heard the rumors.” 

“Yes darling.  You go get ready, and I’ll be at your room in 10 minutes.” The woman giggled as Negan smacked her ass as the sound of her hells grew distant. 

Negan sat at the table for a minute just thinking and watching me.  “You can come here now.” He said pulling out a chair for me beside him quietly.  I got up slowly, my knees ached, and my legs were tired.  I sat down beside him.  He poured me a glass of water and gave it to me, which I drank greedily in one big gulp.  Then he ripped me a piece of bread.  I just looked at his fingers.  I wasn’t going to eat from his hand.  I took it with my own hand and ate it.  He smiled like he had won some victory. Again and again he did this.  The last bite though when I went to take it he pulled back.  “Allow me,” and I was so hungry at this point that I did.  And he fed me the last bite.  His fingers touching my lips. 

Then he stood taking my hand and we walked. I started to notice where we were and slowed.  “Shhh baby its ok, just gotta grab something for the wife.” He said as we got outside of his back room.   I didn’t move as he went in, grabbed something and then we walked some more.   I looked back once as we walked away.  That room scared me more then I would ever admit to anyone. 

When we got to his wife’s room I was set in the corner again.  She was dressed in a lingerie set, and even I had to admit she looked stunning.  Her room was large, with a small kitchenette to the side, a small couch, and then a large king sized bed taking up most of the room.  I knelt in the corner by the door and more then once she glared at me as she and Negan spoke. 

“Baby you promised,” She said at one time when Negan started to kiss down her neck.  He smiled and came over to me.  He put my hands behind my back and cuffed them, but where I expected metal they were leather.  I almost thanked him out loud for that.  Then he took another part out which tied to the cuffs, and I felt the ropes drape up my back, he placed a small bit in my mouth and then tightened it all.   This forced me to keep my head up unless I wanted the bit to bite.  It was a makeshift horse bridal almost.  I glared at him.  Just as he finished he tied the whole thing to the radiator on the wall.  Then he whispered in my ear, “Time for you to see what a good girl gets.”

I was forced to watch has he walked over to his wife, standing at the edge of the bed, watching us and waiting.  He knelt down in front of her and slowly slid off each of her shoes.  He was gentle as his hands roamed up her body.  She giggled when he one by one unbuttoned each of the hooks on the garters she was wearing and kissed the newly exposed flesh.  He stood, throwing her to the bed with another giggle and she watched him as he slowly took off his shirt.  He dropped his belt, socks and shoes on the floor. 

He crawled up the bed like a cat, stopping at her upper thigh, slowly pulling down each hose from her leg. Kissing his way down.  Then pulled down her panties, kissing is way back up her inner thigh.  When he took the first swipe at her core I couldn’t help the tiny bit of movement.  Even I had to admit this was erotic watching.  He angled them so he could see me, and as he had her moaning in pleasure with his tongue, he stared at me. 

By the time he finally moved up she had cum not once but twice, and when he started to undress her the rest of the way I could not longer deny that I had become wet.  I watched as he claimed every part of her, and then he undid his pant and slid them down just a little.  When he took her, he watched me the whole time, and as he slammed home I couldn’t help the tiny movement of me squeezing my thighs together.  He had won this little game, and he knew it.  It then focused on his wife, and their pleasure, and within a few moments had them both moaning in pleasure.

Then he got up and cleaned himself and her up.  He snuggled her for a few moments, pulling the covers up again her. But she had passed out, and he slowly got out of bed and redressed himself.  Again making eye contact the whole time.  He untied the bridal and me from the wall, but left my hands tied behind my back.  Helping me up we left her room.  

Negan’s hand held my bindings leading me where he wanted.  When we got to his room he led me to the couch.  Grabbing himself a drink, he took a deep sip and just looked at me.  Then came over and gave me a deep sip as well.  A tiny bit dripped from my lip and he wiped it away with his thumb.  Setting down his drink he knelt in front of me.  Spreading my legs so he could get close to me.  He looked right into my eyes.  “I saw you watching us, you filthy girl.” He said with his million dollar smile. 

“I saw you watch me instead of the woman you were fucking.” I tried not to give away too much.

“Did you now?” Negan said his hand touching my knee.  “And tell me what were you thinking while you watched every second?”  As he said this his hand began making slow circles up my leg.  Slowly making his way up. 

“You’re an odd man. You want one woman but sleep with another.” 

“True,” is all he said as his hand was mid way up my thigh, his thumb rubbing down the inside of my leg.  “Did you wish it was you on that bed with me?”  His thumb slowly crawling only an inch from my core.

“This doesn’t change anything between us you know?”  I said trying to keep the sound of lust from my voice.  I failed just as I had said it he thumb brush my lips and I let out a small sigh. 

“I think it does little pet.  I think you hate the idea of being kept, but maybe because you haven’t been kept by the right man.” As he said this he began running is fingers around my core, my thighs, and I had to close my eyes. “That’s right baby, let me take care of you.” His other hand scooped around my body, and then pulled me to the edge of the couch then slowly laid me back.  Lifting up my skirt, I was completely exposed to him.  

When his tongue touched my exposed clit I moaned, tonight there was no going back. He dove in. Using his lips, his tongue, his teeth all in the right way.  As I grew close he began to suck my clit. I cried out from over sensitivity,  but he continued until he stopped all together. 

“Little pet you taste amazing,” he said cleaning his face. I leaned back against the couch, resting.  He smiled, “Your so beautiful when you all your walls are down.” He said scooping me up to the bed.  I didn’t make a noise but my body grew ridged.  “Shhh little one.  I am going to show you just how nice I can be.”  He unhooked the cuffs from behind my back but then rehooked them to the headboard. 

“Negan please….” The fear was clear. 

“Tell me how to make this better pet,” Negan said as he slid my dress off my body. 

“I’m scared,” I admitted out loud and it surprised both of us. 

“Its ok little one…. I am going to wipe your past all away.”

“I don’t know how?” I said quietly as he started to strip.

“I am going to claim every part of you. Its going to be so amazing that nothing from before will matter.”

“Not like this,” I said pulling on the cuffs. 

“Tonight, like this.” He said his fingers tracing the cuffs. “But next time if your good I will let you participate.  Give yourself to me fully.” 

A small tear escaped through my control, “I’ll try.”  And as soon as I said that Negan let out a growl and was back between my thighs.  This time his tongue and mouth worked my clit, and he slowly entered one finger. He pumped in an out preparing my body, as a second and then a third joined.   His sucking and licking found a rhythm and just when I thought I was in control his fingers touched the right spot and I had no control cummings hard with a moan I couldn’t hold back.   Negan smiled, wiping his face again. 

“Ah baby that’s the first of many.” He smiled his toothy smile, and I closed my eyes trying to block him out.  Knowing what happening he moved up my body to my mouth. He kissed me deeply and hard, and I could taste myself.  “Don’t lock this out baby,” he said his hand slowly playing with my nipple.  Then he moved back down and began to play with my breasts. 

“You have beautiful breasts,” he said taking a nipple into his mouth. When I closed my eyes he bite gently, showing he wouldn’t have it, and he kept eye contact as he licked, bit, pinched and twisted my nipples so gently but forcefully that I bucked my hips a little, letting him know I was ready for more.  He smiled, his hand gently slapping my exposed core.  A small moan escaped and Negan looked like a kid on Christmas.  “Oh baby you just made this so much more fun.”  He slapped again, and without thinking my hips bucked for more contact. 

He repeated his game of sucking my nipples, and then a small slap, under I was no longer trying to hide the fact that I was bucking my hips. “What do you want baby?”  He asked looking up at me, after he had marked me with a deep purple mark right about my breast. 

“Need you inside me,” was all I said, and I was mortified. 

“Watch baby,”  he said as he stripped, and then pulled me over to the side of the bed. He was able to stand and still have full control over my body.  I watched as first he took the head and slid it through my juices. Gently rubbing it on my clit, causing me to moan and my hips to buck without control.    

He was going so slow to start, so slow and then when he was fully in he took long pulls and pumped in again slowly.  I made a little muffled noise, and Negan stopped.  “What baby girl?” 

“I know what you are doing.”  I said just looking at him with a bit of annoyance.

“What just giving you what you had before. Nice gentle married people sex.” He laughed to himself.

“Please,” I moaned, trying to get time to pump back in.

“Please what, your going to have to tell me what you want.”

“Fuck me…. Please fuck me….married people sex is boring.” I whimpered. 

“Your wish is my command,” he said as he started his real pace.  It was perfect as fucking could be.  Hard enough to let you know your alive, but no main.  Just when I felt the build inside Negan leaned forward and his hand gripped my neck, strangling me.  I panicked.  “Go with it babes, I won’t hurt you.” He said as I calmed, and he continued.   Something about his hand around make neck added to the whole experience, and as he pumped hard into me, and my breath kept getting shallow I felt everything build again.   When I came, it was hard, and he felt like a steel rod through me.   It was glorious, and when he released his hand from my throat I came again, and saw white, and moaned so loudly.  Negan laughed as he watched my body come back down, still inside me.  

He flipped me over onto my stomach and adjusted my body, so my ass lined up perfectly, and without a word he was half way into my ass.  He moaned out in pleasure, and I yelled in surprise.  There was a delicious bit to it all. But when he pulled out gently and did it again, he seated himself fully and my yell made him laugh.   

Then he began to pump, and without thought I moaned.  “So tight, so amazing.” Negan would say ever once and a while.  And then he would slap my ass, hard. Causing me to squeeze my cheeks, causing him to moan.   Just as I thought he was going to finish in my ass at his own speed he slowed his hand finding me clit.   Swollen and used there was nothing to stop him as rode my ass and made me cum.   At the same time taking his own pleasure.  I felt as his fluids filled my ass causing my orgasm to deepen.  We collapsed side by side, and flipped me over laying his head in the crock of my arm.  

Resting his hands explored my breasts gently. Tweaking my nipples, causing me to squirm more then once as he caused the pleasure to build in his gentleness.  This time when he found my clit, there was no gentleness, he took to it hard, determined to give me another orgasm.

“You are mine,” he whispered into my ear.  “My little whore.”  Every was building again.  “Mine to use, and to play with. “  When my hips started to buck a little he knew I was getting close, and when one more stroke would have put me over the edge he stopped.  I let out a small whine. “Say it,” he still pinching my clit hard.  I whined again. He pinched harder, “I….I am yours.”  Taking my nipple into his mouth he began to rub and suck. And when I came it was the hardest wettest orgasm I ever had.  

Negan got up and went to the bathroom getting a face cloth he cleaned me off.  Unhooking the cuffs he pulled me out of the bed and brought me into the shower with him.  He watched ever inch of me, then just when I thought we were finished he bent me down a little to hold onto the faucet as he entered me again from behind.  This time his grip on my hips was bruising, and I could feel his balls hit my clit each time he pumped.   We both came hard, and as if satisfied he finished washing us off, and then wrapped me in a towel sending me to bed. 

He slept deep that night.  Deep enough that when I snuck out of his bed, grabbing his keys he didn’t stir.    


	9. Helping or Hurting

The factory was dead quiet. I had spent so much time crawling around I knew most of the guard’s schedules now. I was able to sneak around in my underwear, being totally silent, and totally unseen.  I found my way to the main laundry room and was able to take my time.  I found boots, socks, pants and my very own shirt and vest from when I was first came.  It gave me an idea…. _The small windowless room from when I first got here._

Taking a pillow case, I threw my stuff into it, and found my way back to the room.  I opened the door and found the vent that was in the top corner of the room.  Totally invisible to someone in the dark in the room, but a perfect hiding spot for me.  The vent was 7 or 8 feet up, and it took some monkeying to put my legs on either way and slowly climb up to the vent.  The vent wasn’t on tight, and perfect size for my stuff.  There was still room for more, and I smiled.  I would have to be patient, but I could do this, I could get out. 

I was able to get one turn back to my room, and I heard their voices. “Find her Simon, or I swear I will chop your balls off.” Negans voice was clear, and Simons stuttering response was priceless. I snuck into the stock room r  ight beside me, finding the perfect answer.  The closest was full of canned items, including a giant few jars of pickles.  I smiled, as I dropped the pickle jar to the ground with a smash, and sat in the pickle juice, picking up 3, and starting to eat my fill.  

When the door swung open, Negan’s laugh filled the room. I am sure I was quiet a sight, sitting in my underwear, covered in pickle juice and eating on my hands and knees.  I took another big bite of the pickle as Simon pulled me to my feet out of the mess.  “What the fuck?” He asked shaking me. Negan pushed him into the wall, still laughing as he took my hand.  _Keep laughing you ass hole._ He brought me back to the room, laughing as I ate the last bite of the pickle in my hand. 

“Hungry I take it?” He smiled down at me, leaning in to give me a kiss. “Damn girl you stink like pickles,” he laughed again.  “Go shower, and then we can talk about what just happened,” I nodded and practically run to the shower. Of course not before he got a hit to my ass as I walked by.   My shower was quick, and I smiled at myself, _step 1 of like 50 done. Small steps_.

Getting out of the shower Negan had a small table with toast, jam, and some crackers set out. He sat in his boxers, lounging comfortably on the coach. 

“So why didn’t you run?” He asked taking a bite of toast. Licking the jam off his lips. 

“You said fresh start.” I said looking at the ground. 

“Yes I did. And yet you still needed to sneak out?”  Another bite of toast, loving the sound in the silence. He was crunching for effect.

“I was hungry, and you were asleep. I thought I could get something to eat and be back before you woke.”

“Pickles?” 

“It was the first thing I found. But I couldn’t get it open. Tried for like 15 mins, so then I decided to smash it. “

Negan smiled, finishing his toast.   “Next time just ask.” He said patting on the coach for me to sit beside him.  I sat, watched as he spread the jam on some more toast and handed it to me.  Taking a big bite I moaned a little at the sweat taste.  Negan smiled.  “I got some clothes for you on the bed.  Finish eating, and get dressed.”

After I was done eating I noticed how Negan was watching me.  I didn’t pretend to be happy or play it all off. I just tried to remain my normal careful self. When I looked at the bed and saw pants, tactical boots, and a tank I was immediately suspicious.  “What no sun dress today, and I even get to wear underwear. Oh joy.” I said full of sarcasm, watching Negans reaction to my pushing. 

“We gotta go on a run today, and frankly I want you with me.  Its an overnighter, and I aint ready to be separate from you just yet.” He said with a smile as he watched me dress. 

When we got to the armory I was surprised to see how many men he had going out on this run.  He handed me both my Ka-bar and my bow, smiling like it was Christmas just to get my own stuff back.  I was lead to a big old military truck. I sat in the middle as Simon climbed into the driver seat. Negan stood outside the door talking to some men. 

“Nice to see you again princess,” Simon said side eying me.  His breath stank, and he was too close for my liking. “Can’t wait till you mess up again, we had some fun times didn’t me.” He said his hand pawing at my thigh.

“You can go to hell, I swear I am going to rip your dick off one day,” I mutter quickly under my breath. 

“Good to see the hellcat hasn’t been tamed yet.  I look forward to round 2.” His hand moving up my leg. 

My Kabar was at his nuts before he moved another inch.  “I might get in trouble for this but I will be so worth it,” I said digging in just a little. 

“Kitty got her claws back did she?” Simon smiled, never looking away from the road infront of him. His hand retracting from my leg.  “Just remember that eventually you will be mine, and I intend to make you cry out my name.” Removing my blade I don’t responds.  Just as I tucked my knife back away, Negan pulls open the door and climbs in. 

“Lets get this show on the road.” He booms, as Simon pulled out in front and we hit the road.   The drive was rather uneventful.  Negan and Simon going on about guard shirts, night watch, and the recent run-ins with resistance.  They were unspecific in much of their conversation. Ensuring I didn’t ever know 100% of what they were talking about.  So I laid back the most I could and dozed off more then once.  When we got to an industrial area and a ton of warehouses the trucks stopped and the ants of Negans men piled out. 

“You know the plan, we get in, get out, minimal causalities.  Grab anything useful, and tag anything too big to carry with the paint.  Wave 1 will open the doors, and clear out the Zom’s, wave two supply review, wave three pack mule.” I watched as wave one started to load up.  I shock my head.  _Dumbasses gonna get us all killed._  “You got something at add?” Negan looked a me and his face was deadly serious not to fuck with him. 

“You go in with all those guns first, and you are going draw a swarm on this place.  Sure you might get some supplies, but you can’t do repeat trips.  Go in there quiet like, and you could clear it out in an hour and use this place as a base for later.  No more overnight trips.”  Negan rubbed his face.  Debating how to handle this.  

“Its how we always done it Negan. You don’t need to change anything because your pet says to.” Simon said into Negan’s other ear.  I laughed at the site of the good /bad angel on Negans shoulder that popped into my head.  

“You don’t have to do anything, you asked me how I would do it I told you.”  I rolled my eyes, and just leaned back against the truck. 

“How long to clear it out your way?” Negan asked turning to make eye contact.

“Average warehouse 1-2 hours, if there was a camp in there before double that.  I don’t see a hoard, but anything and I would suggest you lead them away with the trucks and then clear it out. “

“I’ll give you three men, you clear the place out or report back in 90 minutes.  If any of them don’t get back its your fault. “

“Give me one man, three is too loud. Someone that will listen to me, and we will clear it or report back in 60 minutes.” 

“Ok what do you need?”  Negan said smiling and telling everyone to back down.  Dwight was chosen to be my babysitter, and I made him my arrow guy.  He held 3 quivers of arrows, a big flash light, and a knife and we climbed up the emergency exit into a top office.  52 minutes later we came back out with 2 arrows, and the all clear.  They didn’t find a single zom alive, and I had even secured back doors to avoid any unwanted guests. That night they celebrated their new base. 

As everyone went to set up for the night Negan grabbed my hand, pulling me to the side, he kissed me long and deep. His hand grabbing down my arm. I had the thought before it happened, and then it happened. The cuff snapped around my wrist, and Negan pulled the other side to his.

"Sorry love, but I can't have you getting away on me."   Negan began to walk, and I had to keep up this pace. We slept in a RV, the small bed in the back was ours.  Negan made me strip down to my underwear to sleep, and Simon slept in the front seat of the RV.  Two other guys crashing on the couch.  I awake early morning to find Simon staring at me, only about a foot from my face. I pushed to move back, only to be pulled tighter into Negan's arms.  A soft moan coming from him. 

"You will me mine," Simon whispered.  "You can't hide behind him forever." Simon reached out to touch me, and I did the only thing I could think of, I grabbed Negans member and stroked, his body reacted as he pulled me closer still, and Simon turned to walk away.  

"Really now wild cat, here in the RV." Negans low rumble of a voice on the back of my neck. It made my skin crawl, but then when Negans hand found my core I could do nothing but moan.  "Shhhhhhh we don't want all the guys getting ideas. " I bit my lip as I felt my panties pulled down and Negan slid in. He took his time, and as he was about to cum he made sure that I fell over the edge as well. Negan undid the cuff's and pulled me into the small bathroom to clean up.   After getting dressed we had breakfast and inspected the new base. Negan was proud of what I had done, and the new supplies would help both with food, and mechanical.  This was an auto parts warehouse, and not that it meant much to me, but apparently some of these parts were hard to find. 

New didn't leave the warehouse, and when it got dark I found myself sitting at a small fire outside the RV unguarded.  There was no moon or stars out, the sky was overcast and without the flame it would be pitch black.  When I was certain that no one was around I slipped away into the night, with nothing but a small kitchen knife. 

Now when I say it was dark, I mean like I couldn't see more then a foot infront of me. I had to go slow careful not to make too much noise.  The first zom I ran into I had to put down quickly, and broke my crappy knife.  When I got to the woods I knew it was my best shot. I found a thick dead branch, something I couldn't break over my knee, and wielded it like it was a spear, and another as a dagger. 

The first man I ran into I recognized right away. Before he could let a shout out, the spear was through his mouth and out the back of his skull.  I heard another before I saw him, and my dagger through is neck ended his life.  Morning was just on the horizon, I thought that maybe I was clear. When I heard it.... A sound that will haunt me till my grave. A low whistle. The sound grew louder, and seemed to surround me, and I ran from it.  When I got to a clearing, there was the RV, Negan sitting in a chair drinking his morning coffee.

This was his plan, I knew it the moment he locked eyes with me.  It was a test and I had failed. 

"Well, well, well, what do we have here," Negan stood, picking up his favorite Lucille and swinging her over his shoulder. 

"This isn't going to end well Negan," I growled, like a trapped animal I was going to fight my way out of here. 

"Really wild cat. Why help us secure a new base just to run? Hell you just jumped my bones this morning, I thought we were past this."

"I won't be your prisoner, your toy." I yelled, preparing for the attack that was going to come from behind. 

Instead Simon stepped out from behind Negan and fired.  I was surprised to only feel a small amount of pain.  When I saw the dart I knew why.  _Fucking bastard, I am going to kill as many as I can._

The attack did some from behind like I thought, and a big man died with a branch through his neck in 2 seconds flat.  The second man I foot swept, and my spear through his eye ended his life.  The third took my foot to his chest and went down winded, but it was the fourth guy, he butted me with his gun.  I saw stars.  I was already slowing down, and I tried to crawl into the woods.  I was losing control of my body, and when someone grabbed my foot and dragged me to the feet of Negan I flipped over.  My brain not processing what I was seeing.

Negan stood above me, anger  in his face. But in his eyes I recognized a look I had seen before.  This is what he wanted.  He wasn't down with his toy yet, and he was glad to see the fight hadn't left me yet. The first kick to my gut hurt but more winded me, and still I stared at Negan.  The second kick to my chest caused me curl into a ball.  I felt the next three, but my world was going dark.  Negan's face was the last I saw, I opened one eye painfully and saw him smile down at me.  This is what he wanted. 


	10. From Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for my poor edit. I wrote this on my phone, lesson learned.  
> Edited for spelling and readability.  
> Please forgive me.

When I woke up, pain was all I knew. There were no sounds, I couldn't see, but the pain was there. _I am alive._  I slowly tried to move my body. My left leg couldn't move without blinding white light shouting at my brain, _I think it's broken, fuck._ Moving my arms, I could tell I was badly banged up, but it was when I rolled to my side I couldn't hold back the scream of pain. 2 maybe 3 ribs were definitely fractured, and when it caused me to cough and sputter, I could taste blood.

Rolling back to my other side I began to feel around. I realized I was on a thin mat, when I reached out to feel around another scream escaped. My arm was broken.  From the feeling in both my wrist and forearm I was sure it was broken in multiple places.   _I am so fucked.  He did this on purpose. This was his plan all along. Now that he knows what I can do he made sure I can't do it.  He wants me to be weak._ Even with all my preplanning I wasn't going anywhere for a few months.

As I tried to crawl around the outside of the cell I passed out in pain.  I hurt, was all I could think as I collapsed, spitting up more blood.

When I awoke there was a small lamp on the floor.  I also found a bottle of water and several rolls of bandages.  In chalk on the floor said Sheri.  I used a little bit of water to wash it off. She had risked a lot to get me this.  I sat up the best I could and began to wrap my ribs tightly.  Then my leg and my arm the best I could.  I drank the water, and then looked at the lantern.  It was the type I could recharge with spinning it up, however with one hand I couldn't do it. I turned it off to save power.  It was dark. Oppressivly dark.   I silently cried to myself.   Passing in an out of sleep.

The days passed, in an out of consciousness, pain, fear, and darkness.   Food would be left on a plate, and a bottle of water. I never saw the day light, I never saw anyone.  Clearly they could see me, and only came  when I was asleep.   Based on the number of meals I received and the fact that it was breakfast, lunch, and dinner type of foods, it had been a month. 

One morning I awoke in new clothes, my ribs wrapped, my leg and arm properly casted.   Another day I awoke smelling of soap.  It was days later when I had my light on and I noticed that there was fog filling in my cell.  They were drugging me, I laid on the floor, covering my mouth and pretended to pass out, until I actually passed out.

Over the next few days I used a bit of my bedding, some paper on the ground, to make a gas mask.  Next time when the gas appeared when I was awake I laid down and waited.   My back to the door.   The light came in and it burned my eyes even with them shut.  I felt rough hands pick me up, and the smell. I knew it was right away, it was Negan.  Gently I was carried down the hall.  The noise was deafening and yet I knew it was nothing more then normal sound.

I was set onto a doctors table, and even if I wanted to, I couldn't open my eyes, it was still too bright. I heard Negan speak, and then the doctor spoke.  His voice I could hear clearly, "It's been 6 weeks, she needs to be under direct care.   Her ribs are healing nicely, but if she doesn't start physiotherapy soon she won't fully recover."  I heard Negan say something else and then the door shut.  The quiet and then I heard the doctor.  "I know you are awake," he said barely above a whisper. I nodded but didn't move.  "You need to start to moving more.  If it doesn't hurt, do it." I nodded.  "When your casts are removed you need to start walking, putting weight on it, body weight exercises.  But you need to pretend to be weak. Do you understand?" I nodded.   The doctor whispered directly into my ear, "I don't know his plans, but I am sorry I can't do more."  He rewrapped my ribs, and then washed my feet gently. In the middle Negan came back into the room. Watching.

He scooped me up, pulling me close to his body.  I laid limp as I could.  He whispered sweet things into my ear. "Shhh baby girl, I am going to take care of you now....  I got you..... No more fighting.... No more pain.... You will be safe with me." He muttered more things I couldn't hear.  He set me back onto the ground in my cell, gently moving hair out of my face. He set something that looked like dinner in the cell, and I listened as he wound up my lantern.

A few days later I was woken up by Negan gently shaking me awake.  "Shhh darling, time to get up."  Negan helped me up, and then scooped me up into his arms.  He carried me softly, my head rested on his chest, listening to his heart rate.  He was warm, and it was comforting. More then I wanted to admit.   He didn't speak a word to me, but carried me to the doctors office. There he sat with me as my arm cast as cut off.  My wrist hurt, and I was able to be flexed for the first time.  I moaned in pain, and Negan held my hand. 

The doctor gave me a stress ball, telling Negan I needed to start stretching, start moving, and to start flexing my wrist.  He never looked at me once, never spoke to me directly.  Negan then took me back to his room.  There he gave me a small plate of crackers, cheese, and grapes.  After eating a little bit, Negan took my plate.  He kissed me gently on the head.  Then scooped me up and carried me back to my room again.

Again days blurred, each day Negan would come and pick me up, take me to the doctors, and then feed me just a few crackers in the privacy of his room.  Negan barely spoke to me.  I slowly began to twist, flex my arm, push ups, and stretch.  I was weak, but not as weak at they would think. Then one day I awoke and was in a new room. The lights were on, but I was in a real bed.  I quickly realized I was in the _HIS_ back room again.  I could see the hooks on the wall, but all of the chains were gone.  The small bed was pushed into the corner, a desk, and a chair.  A few books sat on the desk. Extra sheets, clothes, and pillow all sitting on the end of my bed with a note.  My cast on my leg had been replaced with something that looked like a large space boot.

There were two notes sitting on my desk. One from the doctor.

  _"Your muscles are still healing take it slow. Your breaks have set but do not over do it. Do not walk on your leg without a cane, or support from someone. 4-8 weeks of physo before you loose the boot."_

I signed, angry that I was still healing. Angry that my whole body still hurt.

The second note was clear, as it was sitting on a pile of clothes. _Clean up, see you tonight - Negan_

I yelled in a fit of anger. I screamed and lost in rage I threw the books off the shelf, turned over my cot, and when I went to kick my desk collapsed in pain. I sat on the ground, pulling my blanket off my bed, and cried. A wrapped up ball of anger, tears, and a whole lot of pain.

I sat there lost in my own misery and grief for longer then I cared to admit when horseshoe came through the door without a knock.  "We'll look at what the cat dragged in. You look like a piece of shit."

I looked up at him, tears welling up in my eyes. He looked down at me, kicking my space boot. Causing me to cry out in pain. "Negan wants you ready in 10 minutes. Be ready in 5 or I will have fun dressing you."  He kicked my leg again and left.

I slowly stood, pulling off my clothes and then pulling the dress over my head. Of course there was no underwear. But the dress was longer then most, past my knees. And the neck line didn't reveal anything. I was surprised how modest it was. When the door opened again, horseshoe snorted, disappointed. He passed me a cane, and slowly we walked down then hall. It was slow, although many people were milling about, people would stop and stare. No one spoke to me.  It was so quiet it felt like a horror movie. No one spoke at all, they just watched as I slowly passed by.

When we came to the cafeteria as I entered the room it too grew quiet. All 20 or so people watched as I walked over to a chair beside Negan. He continued talking to one of his men, his hand rested on my leg. No food was brought to me, and no one talked to me. With the exception of Negan's hand on my leg, I did not exist.

This pattern continued for days. However horseshoe never spoke to me again. Whenever he came to my room I was dressed before he got there. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of messing with me. I grew hungrier and hungrier, never speaking to a soul. It was day 8 in my new room when I spoke finally. "Negan, can I have some food please." No one answered at all. I sat for a long time. I took a sip of water, and tried again. "Sir, can I have something to eat." A shit eating grin crossed his face as he turned to me, feeding me bite of toast. Then again, another bite.

This pattern continued again for another few days. It had been almost two weeks when I awoke to a new note. _Physo today_. I dressed and waited. Negan opened the door. "Come." He held out his hand for me to take. I took it, my cane in the other hand. He threw it on the bed. "You only need me darling." I nodded and took his arm for support. He took my arm and took me to see the doctor. The doctor only spoke to him, removing my space boot.  Told him I needed that walk around and do some exercises. Negan smiled and then led me out of the room. Each step hurt.

Each step I clung to Negan. I moaned and cried out in pain, grabbing tightly to him. He cooed at me. "I've got you darling. That's it sweet pea. One more step. That's right." After 20 minutes of walking we returned to his room. There stood horseshoe and another man on his knees. The man wore an old uniform, his longish hair in front of his face. "Well, look who is finally out of the time out corner," Simon said to me.

Negan didn't hesitate to first set me on the couch, and the second punch Simon in the face.  "You don't speak to her." Negan said.

"Ass hole," I muttered to him. Without words Negan ripped of his belt and threw me over his lap. I screamed, I fought, but the second Negan's leg crossed over the top of my injured leg I stilled. The pain too much to fight. I saw Simon's eyes light up, and saw the man on his knee watch as Negan exposed my ass to the air. His belt coming down hard. 6 times in total. The pain caused me to cry out.

"You will only speak to me, or you will me punished. Do you understand?" He Negan said rubbing he hand over my welted ass.

'Yes," I spat out. Another hard smack of the belt.

"Yes sir," I whimpered. Negan slowly let me up, and then set me back on the couch.  He began to rub my sore leg. Flexing my foot each way and rubbing my seperate muscles. I whimpered and moaned. Simon watched me, his eyes wide with desire.  The other man was fixed on my eyes. I felt ashamed, and looked away.

Negan began to speak to Simon and the man. I learned his name was Daryl. I learned that he had taken over my old room, which is probably why I got the upgrade.  Daryl was going to help under Dwight's care on the docks.  Daryl looked through his hair at me, and I felt a sadness, knowing that I clearly had given up my fight, just as he will. Then they left, leaving me alone with Negan, and my heart ached.

Negan continued to rub my leg. His hands massaging away all of my stiffness, and his hand continually rubbing higher up my leg. He got to my inner thigh, and I squirmed but then he stopped, going back to my foot. After what seemed like forever he helped me stand, tellng me to keep my hands above my head.

He lifted my dress off with ease, and then took off his own clothes. He led me to his bathroom and helped me into the shower. Turning the water from cold to hot, he climbed in after me. I enjoyed the warm water, despite his hard on pushing into my ass. But Negan did nothing more then wash down my body. He took his time more then once, but never did more then feel my body, its weight, its softness.

He turned off the water and led me to the bed. Setting me on the side of the bed, he got dressed, then helped me back into my dress.  He then pulled out a brush, brushing my hair gently, and then braided it down my neck. As we were heading out Simon came into the room abruptly to tell Negan of an issue. Clearly upset Negan scooped me up in his arms and then delivered back to my cell. "I'll be back for dinner" he said as he set me down.

The hours past, and I started to read one of the books I had been given. Two, three, then four hours. It seemed like it was days.  It wasn't until the next morning when Negan finally came.  My stomach was turning with hunger, and when came to get me, he was covered in blood.  Fear hit my gut, and the way Negan pulled me to my feet I knew this was going to be bad.

The handcuffs were on my wrist before I could speak, and then the mouth gag, holding my mouth wide open.  I whimpered, and tried to push him back. My arm was too weak to fight back, and when he pushed me to my knees, again was too weak to stop him.    His cock was out of his pants, and being shoved down my throat before I could respond, think, or fight back.   Grabbing my braid he took my mouth roughly.  Even trying to push back was useless, and when he moaned out his first release I was given no option but to swallow.  

Next, he pulled me to my feet.  My dress was ripped off, and nothing more then a sound of surprise escaped.  My hands were forced into the hook above my head, my breasts on the cold cement, and my ass facing Negan.  The cane hit my ass first, and I cried out.  The next few strikes across my ass, my lower back, and when my screams weren't loud enough across my thigh.  I screamed, from the cane, from the pain of standing on my sore leg, and when he hit my legs.  Again and again, my ass, my legs, and my lower back.   I felt the warmth of blood dripping down, and soon began to plead.

Negan stopped, "I can keep going, or you can let me take that ass."  I said nothing and after a few strikes I was crying out again.  Bagging him to stop.  He undid my gag and turned me around. The cold concrete on my ass felt like fire, and more then one tear escaped.  The cane hit my arms, my armpits, my breasts, then he moved to the more sensitive places.   My sides, my inner and outer leg.  I screamed, and he wanted to hear each one.  I screamed in the pain, stopping only when he stopped striking me.

"Are you ready to give me other entertainment?"  I nodded, unable to speak, my voice was horse from yelling so loud.  Negan unhooked my arms, a sick smile on his face.  "Show me,"  he said throwing a blanket around my body.  He scooped me up, and I moaned out into his chest, as his arm went around my back.  He carried me to his room, dropping me on the bed. The blanket wiped off me.  "Show me that you are ready to play nice, or we can go back to my play room." Negan said without moving.  I sat up on the bed, uncovering my body.  Negan just watched.  I kneeled on the end of the bed, then leaned forward, showing my ass.

"That's right present yourself, spread them."  I leaned forward, and grabbed my ass checks, spreading myself open for him.

I waited, and there was nothing.   I sat exactly how Negan wanted and waited.  Nothing.  Then there was a knock on the door.  "Do not move, or I will beat you to death," Negan growled, as he let two men into his room.  I looked back to see Simon and Daryl enter.  I didn't dared too move.  Simons eyes lit up, and the hard on he got I could see from looking only from the side.  Daryl was brought over to my side.  I began to cry, embarrassed.

"You see Daryl, sometimes to break a bitch you have to mount her. Sometimes you have to fuck her up and be real nice and put her back together. Other times you just have to fuck her so hard she doesn't remember which way is up."

As Negan said this he slammed all the way home. I screamed into the bed. Looking away from the three men.

"You see as much as this hellion is screaming her body betrays her. She is wetter then a girl on prom night." He pulled out and slammed in again and again. His fingers digging into my hips. Bruising. I never let go, I screamed into the mattress. He stopped his assault and slowly moved in and out. Then I felt his hand wrap in my braid, and he pulled me ack, lifting my chest off the bed for both Simon and Daryl to see. I cried dispite Negan's attempts to play with my clit. I had been broken.

When he released me, I fell to the bed again. He pumped a few more times.

"Then there are other times you just have to take what you want." Negan said pulling out of my slit, and without warning, without prep, jammed into my ass with only my slick to lubricate. The scream echoed in the room, I didn't even know it was mine. The pain hurt more then I had felt before, and I knew he had ripped something inside me. The second push he was seated home. Again a scream echoed through the room. Negan continued to spout comments, and I turned my head, seeing Simon clearly taking it all in. His hard on was clear, and his eyes devoured the scene. Daryl looked at me with something I couldn't place. And it made me hate that Negan had broken me.

Soon Negan finished in my ass, and when he pulled out he grabbed Simon and pulled him into the other room.  "Clean her up," Negan said to Daryl. "Then back to her room." Daryl moved from his place, eyes down cast as he got a wash cloth. First he wiped the tears from my face, the cool clothe feeling nice. Then he cleaned both my ass and slit. I moaned in pain . He was gentle.

Next he washed the cloth and wiped the blood off my back from my canning, and wrapped me in the sheet again. He scooped me up, and Negan ignored me as I was taken back to my cell in Daryl's arms. I rested on his chest, and just prayed I would die.

"I am sorry," he whispered in my ear.

"Shh you can't be caught talking to me."

"I know." He said quietly.   "He wants to break you." I nodded and cried gently into his chest.  _He already has._ "You can beat him." When we got to my room he set in my bed, gave me a long drink of water and then left me in the dark cage that had become my home.


	11. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second last chapter. To end on the note I wanted to needed to do some time jumps. I am sorry it took so long to finish, but I have rewritten these last two chapters too many times.

The next 3 days Negan sent Daryl to care for me.  He cleaned my wounds, fed me, and held me as tears escaped from me.  He didn't speak to me, not because of fear, but because we didn't need to speak.  One day he came for me with both shackles and the open mouth gag.  I began to cry _, More games, time for him to take his turn_.

 "Shhhhhhh....." He whispered quietly as he put my hands behind my back, and placed the gag.  "I'm not gonna.  Negan offered, but not gonna.  He wants you after." I sat silently. Daryl sat beside of me for a few moments. Staring straight ahead into space. Then abruptly he stood and turned his back to me.  I heard his zipper, and a few moments later his breathing change.  _What the fuck?_ Within a few minutes moaning his own pleasure in the corner.

His hand cupped his own seed, he took a little on his finger and wiped it on my face, and then again a little on my dress.   His eyes looked sad, and he wiped the rest away on the underside of my mattress. He picked me up by my arms, and pulled me to follow as we left the room.  Simon was standing outside against the outside the door, listening like the creep he was

"No fair that you get her before I do," Simon muttered at Daryl, following us back to Negans room.  We walked slowly, my feet dragging.  My heart sinking each step we took closer to Negans room.  When we entered, Darryl set me on my knees by the couch, and Simon nodded at Negan. Letting him know that the deed was done. 

 Negan smiled, like it was Christmas morning.  "See Daryl, if you're nice to her, she can be real nice to you."  He pet my head, leaving me on my knees between them all. Negan spoke about this raid, or that group. Anger in his voice, making plans.  I ignored looked at the ground.  I wasn't sure how I was suppose to continue.  Then I felt Daryl tap me with his foot.

"You should just give this one to the men, she's been broken. Isn't any fun anymore."  I didn't move.  Negan continued to talk.  _Broken..... I'm not broken_.  Simon whinned, "But I wanted her for a while first."

"What do you think sweet pea? Would you like to spend some time with Simon? You might get lucky and he might claim you as his."

I didn't move, Negan leaned down into my space. His mouth at my ear he whispered. "Now be a good little cum whore for Simon princess." He looked me in the eyes, and I know he saw the moment they turned from dead to fire. The look on his face was unforgettable as I threw my head back,  bashing his nose with my head. The blood was warm and his shout and recoil was immediate. Simon tried to move, but I was on my feet, and a swift down kick in his leg had him scream in pain on the ground, as I felt the bone snap through. 

"The bitch hit me," Negan was screaming.    My blood was pumping, _this was it_.  I know I must have looked like a rabid animal as I threw myself at Negan, droll escaping my open mouth gag.  The kick to his groin put him down hard, and the knee on his throat as he chocked on his own blood put him down fast.  I stayed there, pushing on his windpipe with my knee for a long time.  Trying to crush it but I lacked the strength and angle.  When I felt Negan try to push me off I knew I didn't have the ability to end this. I stood and came down again knee first to his face. Knocking him out.

Simon screamed on the floor. His compound fractor bleeding out on the floor. Darryl punched him once and he was out. With any luck Simon would die, turn, and eat Negan. But I knew I wasn't lucky enough for that. Daryl took off the gag, and found the keys for the cuffs. We ran, Daryl had already been looking for how to escape and the bikes were easily accessible. When he offered me to get on with him I stopped.

"You gotta go, I'll make sure they don't follow." Daryl looked at me with shock. "I'm not done with him yet." I said and Daryl nodded. We understood eat other. As he drove off I disabled the bikes. Negan came out side door just as I finished the last bike. A towel to his face and 10 men highly armed with him. I knelt on the ground, my hands in the air.

"Give me one good reason not to kill you." Negans nasily voice yelled as he pinched his nose.

"Because you haven't broken me yet." I said staring at him defiantly. My world went black as Negans boot ended my world.

 1 Month later:

_I'm dead... I must be dead.  Is this hell?_

 2 Months later:

 _If this is hell then I am the devil, and they will all pay_.

5 months later

When the door to my cell opened I was ready to pounce. The blood from the dead covered my cell, and the tattered clothing I now wore stank. When a women I had never seen stepped in I was ready. I have no problem killing a woman.  As soon as she saw me stand, like a caged animal, she pulled and pointed a gun.

"Kill me or die..." I muttered.

"Are you Jess?" The woman's voice waivered.  I could hear the fear in her voice.  

I froze. There was only one person who knew my name. I didn't reply.

"Are you Jess?" She asked again, cocking the gun, ready to fire should I move. "Daryl sent me," she said. I nodded, and it was like all the strength in my body left. I collapsed on the floor, and tears flowed freely.

Another woman came into the cell. "I'm Maggie. Darlys a friend. He said you would need this." Maggie held a blanket, water, and a protein bar. I wasn't sure which one to go for first. I could tell by the looks on their faces there were freightened by what they saw.

Hunched over like a beast was a small 5 ft 4 women, covered in blood, both hers and others. The smell of death, shit and sweat filled the room. The smell must have been horrible, but my nose stopped working long ago. Slowly we left the cell. I realized where I was in the basement, and led the women to a communal shower. My tattered clothing seemed for just fall off my body, as I stood under the hot water for 15 minutes. It took almost that long for the brown color to stop mixing with the water.  As the shit and blood was washed off me I heard Maggie gasp more then once.

There were bruises on top of bruises. Bite marks, cane scars, knife scars, burns. Almost 60% of my body was permanently scared. My face mercifully spared. I knew my ribs showed, and there were a few open wounds, one looking infected. Maggie pulled a mens shirt, a first aid kid and a protein bar from her bag.

When Maggie handed me the protein bar. I stood, half under the water, naked, no shame, as I ate it, and every so often turned to drink the water. The look on the women's faces let me know I was not a pleasing sight. Then Maggie held out a shirt for me. When I didn't move she just squated down, almost like a submissive animal to hand it to me.

"It's ok, no more, I promise."

Partially dressed I walked out of the main doors, seeing eyes look away from me. I recognized some faces. But almost all of those who wronged me where dead now. The truck they brought was old, but the seats felt like heaven after the hard floor. When we got back to their home, Maggie kept talking to me about this and that. It's safe, community, food, room, but I heard very little. When I saw Daryl I almost darted out the window.  Maggie parked, and I ran to him, despite having no strength.  I knew I looked like when those marathon runners cross the finish line on rubbery legs.

Daryls arms felt strong around me. He held me tight. We didn't say anything just held each other as the world seemed to stop and watch us. Finally Daryl released me. He turned to two bearded man, "Jess this is Rick, Jesus, and you already met Maggie." Rick went to move to shake my hand, and when I backed away,  he stopped. From a few yards are he nodded, "It's nice to meet you Jess. Daryl told me a bit about you. He won't give up on getting you out."

"How long," my voice was quiet and horse. I had only used it to scream so the words seems foreign.

"Pardon?" Rick asked trying to be polite.

"How long since Daryl left?" I spit out.

"5 months 3 weeks, 3 days." Darryl answered.

I nodded. They all were just looking at me. Like I was a broken toy. It made me want to scream.

"Is he dead?" I asked gaining strength.  The group got quiet. Too quiet and I knew.

Rick looked down at the ground. I could see his conflict. "No," he responded almost with shame.

I didn't think twice as I removed my shirt. And watched as each of them looked away. My strength only grew. "Look at me!" I pleaded. "Look at me,"  One or two people looked up. I met eyes with the one they called Jesus. And he looked at my chest. Across my chest the word Negan was carved with a knife. My legs and back were covered in cane marks. Across my pelvic bone another "Negan" was burned. My neck at two permanent scars from being tasered too many times. And down my left shoulder into my back was  a burn so deep that the muscle barely looked like it could hold on.

"Look at me Rick,"I screamed now, taking a step forward. I knew I was frightening these people. I walked around almost naked in the middle of their camp with no shame no fear and yet my body shamed them. "Is this place called Alexandria?" I asked almost blood curdling scream, "Is this place called Hilltop? Is this place called The Kingdom? There was no safe place for me. My chest has been marked forever because Alexandria killed some of his men. My back, my ass, and my legs were scared because of a place called The Kingdom refusing to bow down. And my shoulder is because of a place named Hilltop where Negan lost his fight.  I'm not ashamed of any of these marks. So tell me where I am, tell me who you are? And then tell me again why you didn't kill him." Everyone looked at Rick. Rick starred at me, both horror and determination in his eyes.  

"Do you know what it's like to roll around in your own shit for warmth? Do you know what it's to be covered in the blood of those you had just killed and pray that they don't turn to kill you back? Tell me why he isn't fucking dead?"

But this point 20 maybe 30 people had gathered around they were all quiet they were silent and they were reverent. Daryl brought a blanket and I covered myself not because I was shamed but because they had seen enough.

Rick spoke, "Because if I killed him we would become like him."

"Then let me do it. "  I spoke clearly.  "I am Negan."  The look of horror on both Jesus and Maggies face let me know I was getting through.  "Did you know he found me on the side of the road and decided that I would be his thing his play toy, his animal and when I say play toy I mean go to the deepest and darkest place of your mind is where I've been." I said quieter.  "His life belongs to me if he's not dead." Rick looked up at me almost defiant,  "You have a choice, you are either with me or you are against me."

I looked at Daryl and he took me to a small trailer to the side he sent me down on on the couch and help me redress. "Is this hilltop I asked quietly." He nodded.

"Is he in that big house?" Daryl nodded.

"If I kill him, will they kill me?" Daryl didn't respond.

"I can't stay here. They don't know the darkness." I said quietly.

" I do," Daryl said quietly barely above a whisper.

"I know," was all I could say, as I kissed him gently on the cheek and then I put my hand out and asked Daryl for his knife.

"You can't kill him," Daryl responded.

"Not gonna," I said as Daryl handed me his knife and I went to the bathroom and crawled out the back window.

Getting into the big house was surprisingly easy. Like stupidly easy. And it was easy to find the room that Negan was in. I listened as a woman spoke to him, Negan still in all his bravado, even as a prisoner laughed. "Of all the woman mentioned me, you never mentioned a girl so badly abused. Why her?"

Negan laughed. "That's my princess. Have you seen her in action yet. She is fucking royalty."

Michonne grew angry and stomped out of the room as Negan laughed. I snuck in quickly and quietly, the knife held to my side. Negan watched as I entered. Both of his hands and his feet were tied to a bed as I had been so many times. But even as I stood at the foot of the bed I watched his erection grew. "Well princess imagine finding you here. You going to kill me?"

"I'm going to end this." I didn't say anything else has a stuffed a rag down his throat. His eyes grew large and as I straddled his chest and ripped off his shirt I felt his large bulge behind me. And despite everything that it happened I felt that feeling. That desperation for him that desire for him inside me. Without thinking I undid his zipper lifted my skirt and seated myself all the way on him. His eyes roll back in his head as he moaned into the cloth and then I took the knife, cutting off his shirt and his eyes grew large again. And every time I pumped up and down I cut into his chest, the way he'd cut into mine. Cut after cut, slow pump after pump. 

When I was done my work I stood.  I stood leaving him there exposed. The word Jess carved across his Jess. I then double deep struck it out as he screamed in the gag. I smiled down at him.  He just looked up at me.  "You made me this," I said kissing him on the forhead. I took the knife, cutting the vein on the underside very gently.  Then threw a blacket over it. Watching the blood pool and Negan began to freak from the sight. It was just bleeding, not a major vein, pressure would stop it, but the way he was thrashing, it bled more, and he panicked more.

I quickly snuck out his moans through his gagged drew attention. I watched the black woman return, scream as she saw him, and then others come running.

Within minutes I had returned back to the trailer. An hour later Jesus came for me.  He came with no weapons, only words. That was his mistake. He told me that I had to that they had to have justice here that I would need to be punished. I laughed as I hit him upside the head with a pan. I laid him down gently with a note in his hand. I took a truck food water and then kept driving.

"There is no justice but death, for those who choose the darkness. Don't come looking for me. Daryl I'm sorry."

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the story closes

5 years later

**Daryl**

It was a scouting trip. Going out as far as I could and then back again. I was told to see if there were other settlements who would be willing to trade. And I found some small groups, showing them on a map how to get to hilltop, but I never found any group large enough to make good trading partners.

What kept me going now over two months on the road was a story I kept hearing as I travelled north. The travellers I met all spoke in hushed tones of a woman named Negan. Surrounded by hordes, or by raiders, she would appear to the groups that needed her most. This tiny woman. She apparently wiped out two hordes over 1000 strong heading south. Another horde heading west. Covered in blood, guts she saved women and children. Killing raiders along the road side in manners so vile the men barely whispered them.

One family spoke about finding Negan after their camp was raided. This woman without a voice, without a name, scarred, and the word Negan carved across her chest. The mother said they nursed her back to health with what little they had, and the woman helped them get almost a hundred miles out of a hot zone.

It was two weeks later that I found a truck in the middle of the road, full of supplies, but all the armed men who were guarding it were dead. Some with bullet wounds, arrow wounds, or their throats slit from behind. But all the guns, gas, ammo and food remained. In blood on the front of the truck read, Negan was here. It was still wet.

I was lucky and found tracks, leading off into the woods, hiding my truck I followed them. When I came to a small fire in the middle of the woods I just waited. Hiding in the brush. She came out the woods with a rabbit. I watched as she skinned it, and put it on a spit. Cooking it. I just watched for over an hour. Sun was going down, and she got up and disappeared into the woods again.

"Daryl Dixon if you don't come out of there right now I will have to end you." The voice was clear, and was music to my ears. I raised my hands above my head, as I came out into the fire pit. She patted me down, and threw two knifes to the side about a meter. "You come to kill me?" She asked as she stepped around him.

"Nope," I smiled. "You gonna kill me?"   
"Nope, was gonna share some dinner with you, and see if you could take a bullet out of my shoulder."

I watched as she came out into the fire light. I watched as she took off a large poncho covered in blood. She set down a bow and a rifle. A long scar ran from her ear to her chin. And she was covered in dirt, at least I hoped it was dirt. But damn if she didn't look amazing.

"We can eat here then I got a safe place to sleep." She said so matter of factly that I just nodded and sat by the fire. I ate what was given , and sat in silence. Not sure what to say next.

**Jess**

Damn if I hadn't gone far enough. That last family took me back from Canada to keep safe. But the sight of him on the road made my heart jump. And then when he followed me like a puppy, I wanted to laugh for joy for seeing him again. I watched him as we ate and he looked good.

After dinner I put out the fire, and led him my special place. Took almost a year to build, and he almost didn't believe it when I pulled out a rope ladder and started to climb. Up 30 feet in the air was one of my favorite hideouts. I had relocated an entire cabin into this group of trees. Making an adult tree house.

When he finally climbed up, I helped him in, and then made quick work of pulling down blinds and blankets, and then lighting small lanterns. "As long as you are quiet no one will know we are here." I whispered. He smiled, and I admit my heart lit up.

"Gotta shower," I said stripping off layers of clothes, and putting them in one corner. "Come join, you need one too," Daryl stood and removed his clothes and did the same as me. When I pulled a hose from the wall and pulled a curtain around us Daryl was clearly bracing for cold water. When the warm water started I washed him off first. And he moaned at the surprised heat. "Solar heat," I giggled as I washed his arms, his back, and gently his ass. When I handed him the hose, he did the same for me. I felt him check out my body, the gentle touches, they lit me on fire. When I turned to wash the front, he couldn't help but look at me. His bashfullness was refreshing, but I only had so much water, so I washed, and then gave him a towel and a shirt.

The XXXL tshirt covered him fully, with the logo Big man on campus. I giggled as I slipped on a similar size stating little lady. "Found some very odd factories outside of Detroit. Including a plus sized clothing warehouse." Daryl giggled and then the air went dead again.

"This is a special occasion." I said remembering my secret stash. I pulled out two glasses and a bottle of whisky from a cabinet. Darrel sat on a couch and watched. We drank in silence, and it wasn't till the third glass I had courage to speak. "You looking for me?"

"Kinda, was scouting. Heard about Negan doing good. Been looking for about a month. I hoped it was you."   
I smiled unsure of what to say. "He ain't dead yet. I tried to get them too, but they won't."   
I didn't know what to say. "They had me watching their people for the last few years. I think I got all of them."  
"Them?" I asked sitting down beside him.   
"Them who hurt you, or who knew about you being hurt and did nothing."   
I looked down at my hands. "I'm not sure what to say, or do here." I said.

When Daryl took my hand and kissed it, I felt the sparks. I stared into his eyes, and when his hand cupped my face I just wanted to kiss him. He beat me too it, and his lips were just as soft as I had hoped all these years. He was gentle and I melted into him. My body molding to his every move. Our kiss deepened. The feeling of tongues waring for space, and the taste of each other driving the other crazy. When his hand moved to my hair he grasped it. Pulling me closer, as I dug my hands into his chest. When we both came up for air, my body felt like it was on a roller coast.

I broke the kiss pulling back, standing to give some space. I wasn't sure what came next.

**Daryl**

I wasn't sure what she wanted. I just starred at her. I wanted her, I couldn't have hidden it even if I wanted to. My painfully tented large tshirt. The way she looked at me made my heart ache. She wanted it as well. But I didn't want to break her, I didn't want to be gentle.

**Jess**

I hadn't been with anyone since Negan. I didn't know if on a bigger scheme I wanted to be with anyone. But in this moment, in this second I wanted him. I wanted Daryl fully and deeply. We just stood looking at each other, like to awkward children.

I looked at him, and then in moment of desire I fell to my knees. I put my hands on my legs and looked up at him. Daryl stood and looked at me.   
"Please sir," I said barely above a whisper.   
"You sure?" He asked kindly.   
"Please sir." I whispered again.

Daryl took a step in front of me. His hand resting on my head of a moment. Like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. "Take off your shirt," He said firmly but gentle. So I did. I sat naked in front him. His hand gently brushed my shoulder, my neck as he walked around me. "Where is your bed?" I pointed to the door, without words, he held out his hand and led me to my small room.

"Have you been a bad girl?" Daryl spoke quietly, looking me in the eyes.   
"Yes, very bad."  
"Do you think I should punish you?"   
"Yes," I said breathy, and I couldn't help the slight bit of moan that escape with it.

Daryl sat on the side of the bed, and then padded his lap. "Come here." Daryl spoke firmly and I took a second. A deep breath, and I was all in. I draped myself across his lap. My feet leaving the ground, and I just lay there. For long seconds there was nothing.   
The first smack on my ass caused me to yelp. "Shhh precious, if you are quiet I will make you feel much better."

"Yes sir." I say just above a whisper.   
Nine more smacks preceded, and then without a word I felt his hand start to rub my thighs. Slowly raising to my core, and then his fingers danced around my core. Touching my outside lips, circling. And then gathering my slick, his finger gentle enters me. I moan, laying over his lap, moaning as he began to fuck me with his fingers. I loved every second of it. Then his thumb found my clit and I couldn't help the loud moan that escaped.

Daryl stopped. "Naughty girl, I told you be quiet." Daryl helped me stand, "On the bed." Daryl took my hands, and placed them on the headboard. "If you remove them I will stop. Do you understand?" I nodded as Daryl spread my legs. He took no time climbing up my legs, and then planting his mouth on my core. I bit my tongue holding back the moan. And Daryl's tongue entered my core, fucking me as deep as he could. When I grew close to coming he pulled back, leaving me sitting there on the edge. Then he repeated, several times. Every time I got close he stopped.

When I didn't seem to react anymore, his mount found my clit. Over and over he kept me so close to cumming but stopped. He added fingers with his mouth, fingers around my ass, in my ass, all three. And after what seemed like for hours he rose. His hard clear. I watched as he removed his shirt, and climbed on the bed.

"You've been a very good girl." Daryl purred into my ear. "Would you like to cum now ?" Daryl asked quietly.   
"Yes please."   
"Say my name,"  
"Please sir?" I asked.   
"No," Daryl says, his cock gently rubbing the edge of my entrance, but never entering.   
"Daddy?" I asked in need.  
"No," Daryl says, his cock rubbing me again.   
"Please Daryl, please." Daryl smiled, and then kissed me deeply. Setting his cock deep within me. I was so wet he slid in, and my moan was gagged back, and I bucked my hips to meet him.

He pulled out slowly, painfully slow, and then repeated. Without thought I moaned his name again. This time fully seated inside of me he found my clit with his free hand. Pulling out and reseating himself he sped up the circles and pressure. I bucked, but he kept going. "Not until I say Jess." He repeated over and over again, my strangled moans grew louder. I tried to bit them back, I tried to be quiet. But when he told me I could cum I fell over the edge. And when he didn't stop I came over and over. I lost count, and when the saw black I cried out his name. Daryl pulled out and laid beside me. Holding me to himself.

"Rest now," he murmured quietly.

I fell into the deepest sleep I had since before the dead rose. When I woke, Daryl was gently rubbing my back, murmuring that I was safe now. That he had me. And I just lay there. Until he noticed I was awake. "Daryl, you know we have to go right?" I listened to his breathe change.   
"Yeah, I know." He replied quickly. "We have till morning right?"  
"Yes. There was a herd moving north. Was gonna take it out."   
"I could help?" Daryl said his hand grasping her breast pinching her nipple.  
"You need to go home. I can't leave the darkness."   
Daryl's fingers rolled my nipple between his fingers. "You don't need to be alone in the darkness."   
I sat there distracted, the idea I could have this forever, the idea that he could be my light. I wanted that.

"Show me what that looks like Daryl."  
Daryl sat up, and leaned back against the headboard and wall. Taking off his shirt.

"Come here," he said, and I rolled up and sat on his lap facing him.

"Kiss me," and I did. I kissed him with all the passion, all the pain, all the fear I had held on to. It was like I poured out my soul into him. The kiss had too pressure, too much tongue, too much teeth  
And it was perfect.

As I kissed him I felt his hands roam my body. His cock slowly entered me, and it felt like heaven. Up and down I road him, up and down I felt love each time. We continued lost in each other for what felt like eternity.

When I thought I couldn't take anymore I shifted, and Daryl took this as a cue. He shifted, pulling nmy closure. Then pulling out of me he found my back entrance. Gently pushing.  
"Daryl," I gasped.   
"Gentle love, I promise." Daryl said slowly shifting into me just a little. As I moan I lean forward. Daryl shifts further inside of me. And I pull him close to me. When he is fully seated into me he pulls me even closer, deep into a kiss and then kisses down my chest.   
Daryl began to shift over and over again, moving deeper and deeper inside me. I felt only pleasure and love. And when he began to play with my clit I knew his intention.   
"Cum with me," he moans. And as I felt my body come over the edge and Daryl did the same. We both came deep and full. And he whispered my name into my hair.

**Daryl**

The morning light peeked through a small opening in the window. My body felt loose and we'll rested. It was a change after all the travel on the raid.

I knew she would be gone, and she was. It was just for the night and I knew that. I slowly rose, and found my clothes folder on the end of the bed. A bag packed, and a small note. I got dressed. Are breakfast and looked at the note. I didn't read ot, I just looked at it.

I sat on the couch and waited to read it.   
"Daryl, I'm sorry. One day I hope to be a woman you could love. I love you. Don't die. Be safe. P.s. You bike is a peice of shit, I left a Harley for you at mile marker road 122."  
I found her paper and pen. I left her a message just incase.   
"Jess, I love you as you are. Come back to me one day."   
I left it in the middle of the table, found my way to my bike, and loaded it into the back of the truck with all of the ammo, food, and supplies. I looked around, sure she was watching. I gave a little wave, and drove home, alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need some ideas. What would you like to see?


End file.
